


Wait For Me

by Fearlesskiki



Category: Football RPF, Real Person Fiction, Sports RPF
Genre: Adultery, Alternate Universe, Cheating, I can't believe I'm writing this, M/M, Not suit for kids but if you want to read it I can't stop you, Relationship Problems, Secret Relationship, some swearing involved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-04-28 01:16:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 27,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5072347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fearlesskiki/pseuds/Fearlesskiki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marco's career is flying sky high, but his marriage life is slowly heading downwards. It does not help when his colleague Robert Lewandowski is oh so sexy.</p><p>Maybe his marriage is wrong in the first place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> Marco Reus - A young promising 2nd officer pilot in Vögelchen Airlines  
> Mario Götze - Marco's spouse  
> Robert 'Lewy' Lewandowski - 1st officer pilot in Vögelchen Airlines, Marco's friend and colleague  
> Ann-Kathrin Brömmel - Mario's cousin  
> André Schürrle - Marco and Mario's childhood friend  
> Philipp Lahm, Bastian Schweinsteiger, Mats Hummels, Mesut Özil - Marco's colleagues in Vögelchen Airlines
> 
> This is probably my darkest and hardest fic to date. I hope I could execute it well. There will be possible death occur the story, but I cannot reveal who might die hence the death tag. I'm using a fictional airline company for that reason as well.
> 
> Chapter titles are flight metaphors :D
> 
> And this story is inspired by the Ed Sheeran song, Photograph =)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco goes home to celebrate his 1st anniversary after a long flight. But things does not go as he expected.

"Captain, can you steer a little bit faster?" Marco asks as he fidgets and squirms in his chair. His turns his sight back and forth to his watch and the cockpit as if it would make the plane move faster.

 

"Haha... Calm down. I know you want to reach home earlier, but you know I cannot do that, Marco. The passengers' safety is our priority, always remember that." Captain Philipp Lahm replies to him.

 

Marco flips his head back to the seat and sighs after listening to his captain's words. He glances at the time. It is estimated that the plane will touch the ground at approximately 27 minutes. The young pilot wishes that he is the one steering the plane right now as he could not wait for another second to reach home. It has been a while since he last spent quality time with his husband Mario. Marco's flight schedule has been messing around with his private life ever since he started this journey. It is already a blessing that he could even spend half a day with his family. Marco wishes that he could choose his flights but priorities are given based on seniority. The young man is currently a junior pilot, a 2nd officer to be exact. He just joined Vögelchen[1] Airlines for a year and has been flying most of the time for the past 9 months. Marco is considered lucky to have so many flying hours in the first year. Most of his peers are still working on domestic flights as a backup pilot and spending days waiting for duty calls. It is lucky to have more than 2 flights a month in the first year. Comparative to them, Marco's career has been a blast so far. He is hired by a top international airline carrier right after he graduated from the flight academy. He now works 12-15 days a month, with the layover in between flights are about 2-3 days. However, the flights are always at odd hours and odd days so whenever Marco arrives home, the only thing he wants to do is sleep. And jet lag has become his biggest enemy. Whenever he is awake, Mario always seems to be sleeping. And the routine is always rinse and repeat in the recent months. Marco feels like he has not spent any time with Mario at all in recent months. In fact, he could not even remember the last time they made love.

 

But Marco did not regret choosing this life because being a pilot is his dream since he was a little boy. He has always been fascinated by birds and flying. He wants to be free just like the birds, flying from north to south, east to west and explore the world. For that reason, he studied hard during his degree and became the top student in his academy. And it paid off when Marco was accepted by a world-class airline company.

 

Although Marco loves flying and being free, he never forgets about home. The young pilot always has his husband and his hometown on his mind whenever he travels. Right now he could not wait to see his husband, smell the scent of his home, taste his husband's home cook meal and sleep in his own bed. The thoughts of home tickle him with a warm fuzzy feeling. He could not hide his smile because he could imagine his husband will prepare a nice little candle lid dinner with only the two of them spending the quiet night watching the stars.

 

"27 minutes to go, and it's home sweet home!" Marco exclaims with joy. He lays back, stretches his arms at his seat and takes a deep breath.

 

"And a week off from work. I'm jealous." Philipp says while navigating the plane. "So how is your marriage going on?"

 

"It's been great. We are going to celebrate our 1st anniversary tonight." Marco answers with a silly grin.

 

"Dude, I still can't believe that you're actually married for a year. Don't you think it is too early?" 1st officer Robert Lewandowski interrupts him.

 

"Nah. I have found my true love. So why not take the next step and tye the knot? I mean, there's no point waiting, right?" Marco replies to Robert.

 

"Ha... you naive little creature. The world is so huge, my friend. There is plenty for us to explore. Italian, Spanish, American, Japanese, Thai, African... Seriously it is a waste that a young handsome pilot like you is married at the age of 23. That's like social suicide. Like we've just been to Brazil. Don't you realise how hot the locals were?" Robert says.

 

"Well the only hots I got was the weather, thank you very much," Marco replies with a snark.

 

Robert snorts when hearing Marco's reply. He takes out his phone, taps a few times then shows it to Marco and says, "Look. Here is what you are missing."

 

"Nice. Good for you. You can have my share as well," says Marco with a smile after looking at the pictures of Robert with some random hunky men. He pats Robert's shoulder and goes back to his seat and recline. He could see Robert shakes his head with disappointment, probably thinking his colleague is hopeless. Marco could not help to chuckle at Robert. At the same time, Captain Philipp overhears the conversation and could not help chuckling at the both of them. The captain then glances to the panel and turns on the microphone to start giving the landing announcement.

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, good evening. This is your captain Philipp speaking. First, I'd like to welcome everyone on Vögelchen Airlines Flight SB231. We are currently cruising at an altitude of 34,000 feet at an airspeed of 400 miles per hour. The local time is 4:35 pm. The weather looks good and with the tailwind on our side, we are landing in Düsseldorf airport fifteen minutes ahead of schedule. The weather in North Rhine-Westphalia is clear and sunny, with 21 degrees for this evening. On behalf of Vögelchen Airlines and the cabin crew, I want to wish you an enjoyable stay in North Rhine-Westphalia or at your final destination. Now, please sit back and enjoy the flight."

 

The plane lands safely to the ground and after settling some work, Marco waves goodbye to his colleagues and stops by a duty-free shop. He glances through the watches and a shiny silver chronograph watch with a black background caught his eye. Without hesitation, he purchases it and heads to the exit. Marco grabs a taxi on the walkway and Marco shuts his eyes as soon as he slumps in the taxi. He needs to recharge his batteries for a quality and precious night with his husband later. In just after a few minutes, the taxi driver nudges him. Marco cracks open his eyes and realises he has reached his home. He feels like he has just shut his eyes and now he is at home.

 

"I'm home!" says Marco as he reaches the doorstep. The living room is black pitch dark so he reaches his hand out to the switch.

 

"SURPRISE!!!"

 

A large group of people pops out of nowhere with big grins plastered on their faces. It consists of Mario, their families, Mario's relatives, some friends and a few people that Marco had never seen before. Marco froze at the doorstep as he did not expect any of this.

 

"Do you like it, liebling[2]?" Mario asks as he steps forward and presses a kiss to Marco's cheek, welcoming his husband's arrival.

 

"Erm... yeah. I'm... surprised," says Marco with a forced smile. He is overwhelmed by the presence of the huge crowd, not sure how he should respond to the crowd. Mixed emotions of grateful, shock, nervous, anxious and tiredness get to him. He takes a deep breath to calm himself.

 

_Oh dear. It's gonna be a long night._

 

And he is right. Half of the time, Marco spends the night walking around the house to refill the food and clean up the messes made by the kids. Children are running around the house screaming and yelling like nobody's business. Marco normally enjoys the company of children, but this bunch nothing like the ones he experienced. The ones here are like wild monkeys released from the jungle. They seem to pick tonight to achieve all mischievous acts they could think of. Making a mess, running around, shouting and fighting a just a few that Marco could see. There might be more behind the scenes that Marco does not notice. He tries calling them to attention but none of them listens. He is unable to stop the children with his both hands as he is outnumbered by them and his voice seems to drown in the crowd. Little by little, Marco's patience level goes downhill as the screaming is driving him insane. His frustration starts to show on his face. Marco swears he would whack them if they were his kids. As he picks up the paper cup from the floor, he glances to the living room and the kids' parents do not seem to bother about their kids acting wild in his house. It gets Marco's nerves even more.

 

_Some parents should not have kids, really._

 

That other half of the night, Marco would be dragged into a conversation that he has no clue about. Most of the time he just nods and smiles as a response. He has no idea what how to reply otherwise. The other guests seem to be alright, but Mario has this friend called Thomas and he can talk on and on for hours without stopping. And he would not let Marco go no matter what excuse the young pilot gives. Marco tries forcing himself to smile and respond politely with short replies throughout the whole conversation just to respect the guests. He the conversations seem to drag on and on even though he does not add new ones. It physically and mentally wears Marco down and he prays for the party to end soon. In the middle of the conversation with Thomas, he hears a loud noise coming from the living area. Marco becomes alert and turns his head to check out the scene. As he steps foot to the living area, there is a kid with coke all over the floor with some coke spilled on his beloved lamb rug that he bought from Australia.

 

"Fuck!" Marco shouts.

 

Marco rushes over to grab the rug, pushing some of the guests in the process. He runs the rug through the tap water, vigorously rubbing it with his hands but the stain does not seem to come off. He could hear woman keep on apologies to him, and Marco gently tells her that it is alright. But deep down inside Marco is secretly swearing by himself because it is his favourite rug. After a couple of rinses, Marco puts the rug away and excuses himself to his bedroom. The young pilot drops himself on the bed and shuts his eyes. As he is about to fall asleep, there is a door knock sound and Mario walks into the room.

 

"Marco! Marco! They want us to cut the cake." Mario says with a gentle tone as he shakes his husband's arm.

 

"Mario, I'm tired. Can you do it for me, please?" Marco mumbles, with his eyes, still shut.

 

"Marco, I can't do this by myself. It's our anniversary, remember? We have to do it as a couple." Mario replies.

 

Marco lets out a grunt and quickly gets up from the bed. He glares at Mario and starts to speak in an unpleasant tone. "Mario, I'm exhausted. I just came back from a 12-hour flight. I've entertained those people for the past 3 hours and your friend just couldn't shut up! And don't get me start on the rug. Please, Mario, I need my sleep!"

 

Mario's eyes become wide to Marco's words as he steps back from the scary figure in front of him. His eyes became watery and he talks in a croaking voice before leaving the room. "Okay... I'm sorry. Good night, Liebling."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [1] Vögelchen - "little bird" in German  
> [2] Liebling - "darling" in German
> 
> P/S: I've always wanted to have Philipp as a flight captain.


	2. Turbulence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco spends his holiday with Mario and notices some differences.

Marco wakes up with a fresh feeling when he opens his eyes. The sun is already up and the birds are chanting beautiful melodies. He looks at the time and it is already 8 am. As he stretches his arms he bumps into his husband who is sleeping beside him, curling into a ball. There is no blanket on the little guy. Marco did not realise he has been hogging the whole blanket through the night. No wonder Mario feels cold. The little guy probably did not want to wake up his husband just for a piece of blanket. Feeling bad, Marco quickly drapes the blanket around Mario and plants a kiss on his husband's cheek. He could see his husband's eyes are a little swollen. It looked like he has cried himself to sleep. It is heartbreaking to see his husband like that. Marco runs his fingers through Mario's hair and caresses his husband's cheek before leaving the bedroom.

 

After freshening up himself at the bathroom, Marco heads to the fridge to get some milk. He notices the living and dining area are already cleaned and everything is back to normal. It does not really look like they just have a party the night before. He proceeds to open the fridge and notices the fridge is full of leftovers. Roast chicken, pizza, fruits and sandwiches stuff up the fridge, leaving no space to breathe. There is a piece of cake on the middle rack with a small note beside it. Feeling curious, Marco picks up the note and reads it.

 

_I'm sorry, Marco._

 

Once again Marco feels bad for last night's incident after reading the note. He glances to the corner of the kitchen where there are a few bags of trash. He walks over to salvage the items. In the bags, there are inflated balloons, lights strings, half-eaten food, a backdrop full of their wedding photos and a big banner written 'Happy 1st Anniversary'. Mario must have put a lot of effort into the party preparation. It is a pity that Marco did not take the time to appreciate it. He was too flustered to even notice the decorations last night. He stares at the banner in his both hands and realises his words to Mario the night before were probably too harsh.

 

"Are you going to throw that?"

 

A rather blunt female voice comes from behind. It freaks Marco out, who does not expect anyone in his house at this hour. The young pilot accidentally drops the banner from his hand. He turns around and sees Mario's cousin Ann-Kathrin Brömmel standing behind him. She stares at him with an unimpressed expression, looking quite grumpy. The young lady has baggy eyes and messy hair, which is far from her normal self. By the looks of it, she probably did not sleep the whole night.

 

"I said are you going to throw that? I'm going to take out the trash," she repeats.

 

"Ann? You were here the whole night?" Marco asks.

 

"Well, of course. Who else would be an idiot to stay here and clean up all this mess? And the party was my idea if you want to put any blame. Mario said you missed the family, so I thought I organised this. But-" Ann pauses. She looks away and sighs without completing her sentence.

 

"I'm sorry, Ann. Sorry about last night and also... everything. Do you need a ride home?" Marco says.

 

"No thanks. Montana is going to pick me up. Just focus on the little one inside." Ann says as she signals Marco towards the bedroom with her eyes.

 

"But-" Marco stutters.

 

"If it makes you feel better, get me a Burberry bag when you stop by London," Ann says as she leaves the apartment with her handbag and a bag of trash.

 

"Okay," Marco responds as he watches Ann slowly disappears from his house.

 

Feeling guilty, Marco picks up the bits and pieces of the decorations and starts to redecorate the living room. The young pilot isn't sure how his husband made it, but he tries his best to recreate last night's scene. He tries to straighten up the crumbled banner and backdrop, blow up new balloons, reheat some of the leftovers, in hope to recreate what Mario did last night. It is not perfect, probably not half as good as what Mario did but he hopes it is enough to make up for it. After finishing the setup, he goes back to the bedroom to wake up his husband.

 

"Sunny! Sunny! Wake up, sleepy head!" he calls Mario with a gentle tone. Mario shifts his body a little when he heard Marco's voice, mumbling something that Marco is not able to identify. The little guy opens his eyes slowly.

 

"Marco? Marco, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make-" he says, grabbing Marco's arm with eyes wide open. Marco quickly covers his mouth with a hand to prevent his husband from saying anything further.

 

"Shh... Don't say anything. It's my fault. I'm sorry. I should have been more thoughtful." Marco replies. He pulls Mario's hand and leads him to the living room. The room is decorated almost like last night, with some of the decorations are placed in a different order and the backdrop looks crumbled. The banner is loose and it drops to the ground. Mario creases his eyebrows. He remembered he threw them last night with Ann. He looks at Marco and his husband just gives him a wide smile. It must be Marco that redecorated the room. Marco wraps his arms to Mario from behind, hugging him immensely and says,

 

"Let's celebrate our anniversary."

 

The two spent the lovely day cuddling and gazing each other with some occasional slow kisses and small talks. They spent a good amount of time in the bedroom, being naughty, make role play games and talking dirty languages to each other. The day ended like a blink of an eye before they even knew it.

 

The next day the both of them spend in the house too, as Mario did not want to go out. He claims that he is tired. Marco believes his husband. He could see it in Mario's panda eyes. Marco actually wanted to walk around the city as he hasn't done that for a while but he chooses to compromise his husband. Spending quality time with his husband is more important than anything else in the world. However, Mario is surprisingly quiet than he usually is. The young pilot tries to fool around by tickling his beau but he did not get the response that he expected. Mario is unfazed by the tickling. Marco notices some weird behaviours from Mario but he could not put a finger on it. He tries asking Mario about the matter, but Mario just shrugs him off by flashing a smile and pretend that everything is alright. Marco still feels a little weird despite hearing Mario's answer. His beau is always the restless, energetic little bunny, but now the little guy constantly complains about tiredness. Maybe, just maybe Marco has thought too much. He shrugs off the thoughts, switches the mood by humming a Justin Bieber song.

 

"Marco, that was so last year. Justin's latest song is All around the world." Mario says.

 

"What?" Marco responds. He looks at Mario with a puzzled expression as has never heard that song before.

 

Marco starts to feel a distance between himself and Mario through their casual conversations. It is like they have been living in two different worlds. It is weird for Marco as he has known Mario since 9th grade. They were high school sweethearts that are inseparable until Marco becomes a pilot. But now it feels different and Marco could not figure out why.

 

Mario has always been the outspoken one between the two. One thing that Marco admires about him is that Mario is able to communicate with people of all ages and background. Marco, on the other hand, is often the reserved one towards strangers. He often struggles to open conversations with new people. The young pilot is only comfortable being with close friends. He prefers to keep his friends in a small circle where he could be all out crazy with them.

 

But Marco never had problems talking with his close ones until now. He tried talking about the movies with Mario, but it became awkward as he has not been in the movies for more than a year. Apart from the major world news, he feels like he has grown apart from the actual world. All the celebrity gossip news, songs, movies that he used to talk with Mario are all obsolete. He could not catch up with all the happenings from his love ones. Everything Mario told him sounds foreign to him and he struggles to give any response other than a nod or a smile. Actually, that was also the exact same reason he unable to communicate with Mario's friend the other day.

 

Marco is suspicious about Mario's behaviour when they talk about their friends and family. His beau seems to cut short those conversations, not willing to carry on the topic. The little guy always changes the topic and it raises Marco's eyebrows further. Marco tries to confront Mario about his behaviour again, but his husband is offended by, throwing a tantrum at the pilot so Marco zips his mouth.

 

It became worse when Mario becomes surprisingly quiet. He would listen to Marco's story for the most of the time and Marco is not used to it. Marco thought maybe because his husband could not relate himself to any of his travel adventures and hence the silence. The young pilot tries to joke about the cultural references between their hometown with other countries, but Mario does not seem to get them. He just gives Marco blank stares. From time to time he gets a one sentence reply. The conversations are not going anywhere. Day by day the situation gets worse.

 

During the 3rd and 4th day, Marco suggests to go out to a nearby park or mall to change the environment but Mario keeps on giving excuses, complaining about tiredness the whole day. Marco just lets him rest at home and accompany him. At the meantime, the young pilot examines his husband closely. Mario's eating and sleeping patterns have changed. He would eat more than his normal portion and wakes up in the middle of the night. Mario has not just acted differently, but also physically different too. Marco has noticed that Mario has gained a significant amount of weight from the last time he remembers. The little guy has an obvious tummy and his face looks washed out. It worries Marco, but the young pilot cannot do much when his husband does not want to talk about it.

 

Everything seems to go back to normal on the 5th day, Mario with his sunshine smile and chatty behaviour comes back. When Mario is in a jolly mood and Marco feels relieved. Maybe he is overthinking the whole situation. But Mario's behaviour changes again on the 7th day. He becomes quiet again and complains about headaches. The house is silent for most of the day when Mario is quiet. The awkward silence seems like an eternity to Marco. The young pilot struggles about opening a topic. He could not stand the silent moment and at last, he blurts out something.

 

"The bread is fluffy."

 

"Yeah, I got it from the bakery house beside the Euro shop," Mario responds.

 

"It's tasty." Marco continues.

 

There is no further response from Mario. The silence continues after the bread conversation. Mario just stays quiet with his head facing the plate and slowly munches his food. He only finishes a quarter of his plate. The only sounds in the room are the clinging sounds of the plates and utensils. Marco stares at his husband, wondering what to say next. He could not believe he does not have anything to talk with his husband. And for the first time, spending time with Mario is torturing. Minutes feels like hours, and hours feels like days.

 

And now he actually misses work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support so far :)


	3. VIP Lounge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco finds out Robert's past.

When Marco lifts his eyelids, he could see Mario sleeping soundly next to him. Marco could hear soft breathing sounds from his husband at his side of the bed. It is comforting for him to see Mario sleeping peacefully. He wanted to wake Mario up and say a proper goodbye but it is 3 am in the morning, probably a bit too early to wake his husband up. So he just plants a kiss on Mario and gets ready for work. The young pilot is flying to Paris today. It is just an hour flight away but Marco will not be home until next week. To be honest, Marco does not like to stay in Paris. But there is nothing wrong with the city itself. In fact, Paris is a great city. It has breathtaking scenery, beautiful architecture, wonderful cafés, spectacular night lights... But it is also called the city of love. The romance theme blossoms everywhere in the city. The way people speak and the environment is romantic. People walk around the city with their partners cuddling each other, kissing in the middle of the road, making out at every corner of the alley. It feels sad when you are traveling in such a romantic city alone, and Marco hates to be reminded of that.

 

Marco reaches the airport around 5 am, signs in and looks for Mats, his captain for his next flight. They chat a little about work and slip in some casual conversations from time to time. Marco tries to avoid topics regarding Mario, whiz through if it is unavoidable. There is still 30 minutes before Marco's shift starts so he decides to chill at the cabin crew lounge. When he walks into the lounge, he is surprised to see Robert sitting there sipping a cup of tea.

 

"Lewy? I didn't know you're working today," he says.

 

"Yeah, Lukas calls in sick, so I'm replacing him," Robert replies with a smile.

 

"Oh, I see," Marco replies. He is glad to see Robert here as Robert is one of the seniors that he gets along not only at work, but outside of work as well. Both of them are young and vibrant, share the love of sports and fashion.

 

Marco finds himself a seat beside Robert for a cup of coffee. The senior pilot asks, "So how's honeymoon?"

 

"It's great," Marco replies with a smile, hoping that his colleague will not ask further questions. But his body language tells another story and Robert could sense it.

 

His colleague looks at him closely, then glances his surroundings before whispering, "Is there something going on? It's okay, you can tell me."

 

"Nothing. I'm fine, really." Marco brushes him off with a smile. Deep down inside he knows there is a problem with his marriage. But he does not want to tell people out of the blue, especially to his colleagues whom he often has to work together. He quickly diverts to a new topic to avoid more questions from his senior. The two pilots chat for a while before they start to do a weather check and route review. Marco is responsible for the aircraft inspection and safety, making sure the controls systems are functioning properly. After making the routine, he reports to the captain. The pilots get together for a short meeting to determine the flight route.

 

"I think we could take route A," Marco says.

 

"You think? Have you checked the weather report? Do you know there will be a thunderstorm in that area?" Robert starts to bombard him with questions.

 

Marco frowns and apologizes to his senior. He lowers his head and begins to flip through the pages of the report. His hands tremble as he searches for the weather report which seems to play hide and seek with him. The young pilot could sense that his senior pinning eyes at him and it makes him nervous. When Marco finally found the weather report, he has the urge to explain but Robert shuts him. 

 

"What do you think it is? A child's play? Flying a plane is a serious matter! There are 165 people depending on us! One mistake will cost hundreds of lives!" Robert raises his voice to Marco. The young pilot squirms to his senior's scolding. Mats tries talking to Robert, calming the senior pilot down before they take off. Things do get better during the takeoff and throughout the flight. Robert remains as a professional and performs his task as normal. Marco, on the other hand, still feels a little guilty about his negligence. Cold sweats keep on coming out from his body. The young pilot keeps on checking on his senior from time to time, but the latter remains content. But Marco still has an uneasy feeling that he will have another scolding.

 

The young pilot is relieved when the shift ends. He checks in into his hotel room and stays there the whole evening. Marco does not want to walk around the city. He just wants to spend some me time and rest. He flips through the television channels back and forth, browsing through the tv shows. All of them are in French and he could not understand them. At last, he gives up and turns off the television, shutting his eyes for a short nap. Not long after, Marco could hear door knocking sounds in his room. The sounds awaken him from his dreamless nap. When he crack open the door, he could see Robert standing in the hallway holding a bottle of Smirnoff and two glasses.

 

"Hey, I'm sorry about what happened this morning." says the senior pilot.

 

"No, it was my fault. I should have been more attentive and professional." Marco replies. He glances to the bottle and could not help asking, "What's with that?"

 

"For apology," Robert answers.

 

"Lewy, it's okay, really," Marco replies him with a smile.

 

"Okay, fine. It is just an excuse to drink. And I need a drinking company too." Robert says. He lets himself in before Marco have a chance to open his mouth. The senior pilot opens the bottle and pours a shot each to both glasses. He gives one to Marco and the both of them sit on the bed without saying anything. After a couple of shots, Robert finally breaks the silence.

 

"It's two years already. I couldn't believe it. Hannah left us two years already."

 

 _Hannah? Who's Hannah? And why would Robert suddenly talk about her?_ Multiple questions churn in Marco's mind, but he is not sure how to ask Robert. Probably keeping quiet and wait for Robert to elaborate is the best option.

 

Robert continues, "Hannah is my first love. She's funny, playful and beautiful. She's the most perfect girl in the world." 

 

The senior pilot stares at the blank wall with a heavy heart. This is the first time Marco sees Robert becomes sorrow and vulnerable. Marco never thought Robert could be so sentimental. Ever since he has known Robert a year ago, Robert is always seen as a carefree single pringle, a player that does not want any attachments. But the Robert in front of him is a different Robert from the one he has known. This Robert actually cares. This Robert has feelings for people. Maybe his senior has been hiding his feelings all these times. Maybe he has been wearing a mask. Maybe this is the real Robert behind the veil.

 

"She died in a plane crash because of the pilot's miscalculation. Flight SB114," Robert continues.

 

Marco is stunned by Robert's confession. No wonder his senior was so emotional this morning. Losing someone so important to him because of a flight accident must be hard. Marco would probably react the same too. Flight SB114. Marco remembers that accident too. It was all over the news, causing distress throughout the nation. The accident was caused by a miscalculation of altitude by the pilot. There were 243 people on that plane and none of them survived. People in their country mourned the victims for a couple of weeks. Even the national flag was lowered as a respect for the victims. Marco was still in the flight academy that time. His parents even persuaded him to quit his flying dreams because of it. But of course, Marco insisted on flying. Marco looks at Robert with sympathy in his eyes. It must be hard for his colleague to continue flying after that incident. 

 

Marco does not know how to console Robert. He just pats Robert's shoulder to soothe the senior pilot. Robert keeps on drinking shots throughout the night. Each time he refills the amount of vodka is more than the last shot. At one point Marco stops him.

 

"Lewy, you shouldn't drink that much."

 

Robert ignores him by flicking Marco's hand away for another shot of vodka. Marco turns to the table and takes the bottle away from Robert.

 

"Let me drink!" Robert yells. He tries to reach the bottle from Marco. But instead of grabbing the bottle he is only catching the air as he is too drunk to focus his sight.

 

"No! You can't drink anymore! You're drunk!" says Marco. He glances around and the room is quite small, and he only has limited places to hide the bottle. When Robert is not looking, he hides it under the pillow behind him to prevent Robert from drinking. After a few whines and shirt tugging, the senior pilot gives up. He just sits on the bed staring at the floor like a lost puppy. Marco moves closer to studies his actions. 

 

Robert slowly turns his head to Marco until his eyes meet Marco's. He smacks a kiss on Marco's lips without warning. Marco is shocked by Robert's action, pushing Robert away but the latter keeps coming back to him. 

 

"Lewy, no! I'm not Hannah! No! Stop!" Marco pleas. He pushes Robert away harshly. Robert collapse on the bed and starts to whimper. As Marco catches his breath, he looks at Robert carefully from a distance. His senior is in an emotional mess and it is best to send him back to his own room. The young pilot searches through his senior's pockets for the hotel card but he could not find any. Robert has probably forgotten to bring his hotel card along. 

 

Marco heads to the lobby to get a spare key from the reception. When he taps to Robert's door, it does not seem to work. He flips the card and realises the room number is 308, which is his own room number. He curses by himself, realising he asked for the wrong room key. He goes back to his room and Robert is already sleeping peacefully on his bed. Marco lets out a breath and drops on the other side of the bed. He decides to call it a night. He is too tired to get another access card. And the bed is big enough for two people anyway.

 

Marco opens his eyes slowly as the sun is piercing his eyes through the window. His neck is aching and he does not feel like getting up. He could feel that something is not quite right. He opens his eyes wide and realises he is cuddling Robert. Robert has already wide awake, giving him a wide smile. Marco promptly removes his hands from Robert as he feels embarrassed by his own actions. 

 

"Lewy..." he clears his throat and continues, "Sorry! I didn't realise I was cuddling you!"

 

"How did I ended up in your bed?" Robert asks with a sly smile. The senior pilot leans his head with his hand, still looks calm and collected despite this unusual situation.

 

"You were drunk," Marco replies.

 

"So, did I do anything?" Robert asks.

 

"Uhm-" Marco utters.

 

"Okay, I promise that it won't happen again," Robert replies before Marco could give an answer.

 

"I've forgotten what happened last night, actually," Marco responds later. He is not sure if this is the best answer. But Robert probably did not know what he was doing last night. It might be the best to leave the secret unknown.

 

"Hey, wanna grab some breakfast together?" Robert asks. He gets up from the bed swiftly and gives a warm smile at Marco.

 

"Sure," Marco replies unconfidently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god. It's been three months since I left the story. To be honest I was struggling at this chapter. It's very different from my initial draft and I hope it's alright.
> 
> I've changed the name of Robert's ex girlfriend simply because I'm more comfortable using a fictional character for it.


	4. Duty Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco draws himself closer and closer to Robert.

Marco couldn't stop thinking about last night's incident the whole time at the breakfast table. He tries to convince himself that nothing is to worry about but he just could not shake off the sly smile Robert gave him earlier. That smile looks questionable. What could that mean? Why is Robert not surprised when the senior pilot wakes up in the same bed with him? Does Robert know something more than he should? What if Robert was still a tad sober when the senior kissed him? More and more questions appear in Marco's mind. His thoughts are interrupted when he notices a fork poking on one of the raspberries from his plate. He changes his sight to his senior that is happily munching the fruit without guilt.

 

"Did you just... stole something from my plate?" Marco questions his senior, creasing his eyebrows.

 

"Oh," Robert replies with the fruit still in his mouth. "I thought you wouldn't realise it."

 

Marco crosses his arms and stares at Robert as he is not pleased with his colleague's behaviour. He starts to study Robert's body language. His colleague looks pretty much like his usual self. The senior pilot is calm and collected as always. There are no signs of anxiousness or awkwardness at all. Maybe Marco was thinking too much. Maybe his colleague did not think too much about last night's incident. Robert might not have an interest in him romantically at all. Besides, sharing the same bed doesn't necessary link to sex. Yes, that's right. Families and even friends would sometimes share beds. There is nothing kinky about it. Isn't that the mentality he had when he slept beside Robert last night? That was just a pure and innocent gesture from himself. Robert probably knows so that is why the senior pilot was not freaked out. After concluding his little hypothesis, Marco lets out a huge breath and then flashes a smile. He continues to eat his meal with ease. _Right. There's nothing to be worried about. Everything is just like normal._

 

That is... until he sees Robert winks at him.  

 

Marco blinks his eyes. He could not believe Robert just winked at him. _What is this all about? Did he really wink at me? Or that is just my imagination?_ Marco could feel a surge of anxiety running through his veins.His thoughts are interrupted with Robert snapping fingers in front of him. He gives a blank stare to his colleague, wondering what is going on. Robert looks at him with eyebrows creasing and asks, "Marco, what are you thinking about? I called you a few times but you didn't respond. Is anything bothering you?"

 

The junior pilot clears his throat and replies, "No! Nothing!"

 

"Really? But your face tells me the opposite." Robert replies with a raised eyebrow.

 

Marco becomes silent after being exposed by Robert. The junior pilot surely doesn't have acting talents of Leonardo DiCaprio and hence, his colleague could easily read through his mind. He gives a little thought and decides to clarify some things with his colleague. "Well, erm... Lewy, did you remember anything from last night?"

 

"Hmm... Well, I remembered I went into your room with a bottle of drink. We started drinking. And then..." Robert pauses. He slowly moves forward and whispers, "Did I say anything weird?"

 

Through Robert's facial impression, it seems like the senior pilot did not remember anything about the kiss. Marco decides to omit that part and pretend it did not happen. He replies, "Not really. But you did mention a girl named Hannah." 

 

"Oh," Robert responds with a nonchalant tone. He looks away and dips his lips to a cup of coffee. The senior pilot becomes silent for the next two minutes, avoiding any eye contact with anyone.

 

Marco furrows his eyebrows as he is sympathetic of his colleague. He takes his hand out to grab Robert's arm firmly, eyes look straight at the senior pilot. He says, "Lewy, I'm sorry about your loss."

 

Robert looks at Marco and tries to smile a little. The senior pilot nods in acknowledgment and continues eating. Marco is still worried about his senior. He decides to spend the day with Robert, hopefully, he could make his colleague feel better. Besides, he does not have anything to do anyway. When Robert puts away the utensils, Marco pops out the question, "Hey, are you going anywhere after this?"

 

"No idea. Actually, I don't feel like going anywhere." Robert replies.

 

"Why don't we just walk around the hotel?" Marco suggests. Marco has not figured out how to make Robert's day better but he knows that anywhere is better than staying in a small hotel room. At least, they won't be trapped in a tiny room with only the two of them.

 

The two pilots walk around the hotel and decide to chill at the lobby. There are not much talking from the both of them. Robert scans around the lobby, probably checking out some eye candy. Marco, on the other hand, has already found one. And ironically he is just sitting beside him. Marco has always find Robert attractive ever since he met his colleague a year ago. There is an alluring aura in Robert that attracts people. Robert has dreamy eyes when he smiles with his eyes. He has strong, muscular 6 pack abs that Marco never had. And that wavy dark undercut hair is breathtaking when Robert runs his fingers through it, looking almost like a hair gel commercial. It is no wonder Robert is the heartthrob of their company. But Marco never takes the move to go further than just friends with Robert. He is already married to Mario at that point. Robert can only be not more than an eye candy, just like a forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden.

 

Robert glances his surroundings, grabs a copy of an outdated magazine and flips through it. He stops at one of the celebrity gossip page and grins. He says, "Probably the best on-screen couple ever. Wouldn't it be great if it's true?"

 

Marco turns his sight to the magazine where Robert is pointing. It is a picture of Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio kissing in the movie _Titanic_. He replies, "But isn't Kate Winslet married?"

 

"Yeah, I know. But what if they become a couple? Think about it. They would be perfect for each other. Both of them are actors and they would trust and understand each other." Robert continues.

 

"Hmm... I never thought of that." Marco replies.

 

Robert closes the magazine and turns his sight to Marco, eyes focusing on the junior pilot. He asks, "So, how did you end up with your husband?"

 

"Well, he's my first love. We met each other at Gymnasium as classmates and the rest is history." Marco replies.

 

"What? So you never tried anything else other than 'him'?" Robert responds with a little laugh.

 

"No. What's wrong?" Marco asks as he creases his eyebrows. He starts to get a little nervous.

 

"Nothing," Robert replies with a chuckle. He rests his chin on his hand, with the sofa arms rest as a support. The senior pilot looks closer to his colleague with a sultry smile and asks, "So, you never thought of anyone else before?"

 

"No! Of course not!" Marco brushes Robert off. He looks away nervously with his face turns into a cherry blossom pink. The young pilot breaks a cold sweat as he could hear Robert giggling in the background. To make the situation less awkward, Marco switches the topic. He influences Robert to go out for lunch, which Robert agrees. When the two pilots hit Paris city centre, everything seems to be running in slow motion. Every step that Robert makes is fine and subtle. He walks like a male model walking on a runway. Robert's smile is like a flower blossoming under the sun. When the wind breezes through, all Marco could see is Robert's soft facial structure. His colleague's wavy black hair is still in place despite the harsh wind. _Gosh, how did he still have perfect hair with this strong wind?_ Marco's hair already looks like a birds nest and he certainly needs to head to the washroom later. When they get themselves into the restaurant, the only thing Marco could see is Robert. Everything Robert does is like an angel. The way Robert eats is exquisite. The way Robert craves the duck piece by piece with delicacy is captivating. Marco just stares at the plate in front of his colleague, craving to eat from that plate instead of his own.

 

Both guys walk around the city centre after lunch with no particular destination in their mind. Before they realise, it is already sunset. The two pilots gaze to the sun's direction. The yellow-orange sky soon turns to a romantic pink-purple backdrop. It has been a while since Marco has watched a sunset. He used to watch it every day with Mario during their school days. But ever since he has become a pilot, he does not have much opportunity to do it anymore. The view is quiet and perfect. It is the perfect setting for couples. He glances to Robert, which is standing beside him. And Robert looks stunning as well.

 

 _This can't be right._  Marco thinks. He shakes his thought away. He is already a married man. He cannot have feelings for another guy. It is unacceptable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a long chapter but I've decided to split it into half. Hopefully, it doesn't feel short :D
> 
> P/S: I'm only two kudos shy from 500 :)


	5. Clouds

Marco could hear door knocking sounds in his hotel room. Feeling annoyed by the constant door knocking sounds, he grunts and forces himself to open his eyes. He could see the sun already light up the room. Marco is confused. It feels like he just got himself to sleep and now it is already morning. The young pilot did not really sleep much last night as he spent the whole night thinking about Robert's bedroom eyes. He could not explain why he did it. The more he tells himself not to think about it, the more he thinks about it. The door knocking sounds continue and it annoys Marco. The young pilot groans by himself, cursing the person who knocks his door. He doesn't want to get up but he had to drag himself up to the door. He stretches his neck to the side, to relief the stiffness of his neck that he got from sleeping. He cracks open the door with a pair of half awake eyes just to see a well groomed Robert at his doorstep. His eyes instantly grow big. Robert is wearing a form fitting t-shirt, skinny jeans, perfectly gelled hair complemented with a clean shaved face. Marco just looks like a wreck in comparison. He feels embarrassing for just standing in front of Robert.

 

"Morning, Marco!" Robert says with a jolly tone. "Do you have any plans for today?"

 

"Erm... no. Actually, I don't feel like going out today." Marco replies while scratching the back of his neck. The young pilot is honest with his answer. He does not want to go anywhere today as he is physically and mentally tired. And besides, Robert is probably the last guy he should spend time with so staying in his bed is the best solution.

 

"Oh. Chilling is cool. We can do that." says Robert.

 

The senior pilot helps himself into the room and then lounges at Marco's bed without permission. He throws his hands behind his head and gives a smile to Marco. Marco could not help blushing to the dreamy-eyed Polish guy. He could see the traces of Robert's 6 pack underneath the tight gray T-shirt. The young pilot looks away when he realises he should not be ogling at his colleague like that. He shakes his feelings away and heads to the bathroom to wash his face. He breathes heavily, trying to control the pacing of his heart beat. He could not understand why his heart is racing when he sees Robert. The young pilot then freshens himself and walks back to the room, trying to control his feelings at the same time. When he turn his sight to the bed, he could see Robert smiling at him, patting the bed, signaling him to sit beside the senior pilot. Marco sheepishly sits at the corner of the bed. Robert glances at him, then scoots over with his arm contacts with Marco, tingling the junior pilot's veins. The bed is not that small, but somehow Robert chooses to sit closely with him. Marco moves two inches away from his colleague, with his face already turned red. He starts to sweat, even though it is currently 11c.

 

"Why are you sitting so far away? I don't have any disease, you know." Robert chuckles. He grabs Marco's arm and Marco quickly flick it way. His heartbeat rises again and his palms are getting sweaty. He could not even look Robert in the eye. Robert gives him a perplexed look.

 

"Yeah, you don't. But... I have." Marco replies. He starts to cough excessively, hoping that it will scare Robert away.

 

"You don't look good. Do you need to see a doctor?" Robert asks with eyebrows creasing. 

 

"It's okay. I just need some rest." Marco answers.

 

"Well, okay. I'll be in the next room if you need me." Robert says. The senior pilot leaves the room and Marco lets out a huge breath. He could avoid Robert for a day, but certainly not forever. But right now he does not have any solution. He just had to adjust to whatever circumstances that may come. 

 

As expected, Robert comes to Marco's room the next day. This time, the senior pilot drags Marco to the hotel gym for a workout. Marco tries with all kinds of excuses for not going, but Robert shuts them all. The gym is pretty empty at this hour, with only the two of them in the room. Robert works hard on the treadmill, running the hell out of the machine and it does not take him long to soak his T-shirt in sweat. Marco, on the other hand, is not doing much exercise with his feet. His eyes are doing most of the exercise. The young pilot stares at his colleague's sweat sliding from the forehead to the chin then drop to the T-shirt. He gulps as he looks at Robert's toned muscles. And when the duo hit the sauna room the feeling gets stronger, mostly because Robert is wearing nothing except a bath towel around his waist. With the high heat in the sauna, Marco could see Robert's 6 pack lines clearly at the senior pilot's wet body. He could feel himself bulging underneath the towel, and wanting to lick the drops of sweat dripping from Robert's hair. But his thoughts are snap off when Robert calls him. 

 

"Marco, should we go back now?" asks the senior pilot.

 

"Huh? Yeah, we should," he replies.

 

Marco could not sleep that night so he pops a couple of sleeping pill to ease insomnia. Robert asks him out again the next day and he follows suits. He is not sure why he agrees with Robert's request. It is almost like his senior has charmed him or something. The men walk around the city and around 6 pm, they arrive a place called Pont des Arts, which is the Bridge of Arts. The Bridge of Arts does live up to its name. The breathtaking scenery is just like those postcards from the souvenir shop. Even an amateur photographer could take a great photo without the help of photoshop. The crystal clear water and the gothic style architecture that surrounds the river brings one to a live portrait. Bridge of Arts is also known as the bridge of love. Romantic couples from all over the world come to Paris and they never fail to make a stop on this bridge. They hang a padlock on the railings as a symbol of unbreakable love. Marco actually wanted to visit this place with Mario for a long time but they never did. In fact, they planned to travel around the world together but they never even step out of Germany together. The furthest they went was Munich and that was two years ago. Ever since Marco has started working, he does not want to travel during his off days. Mario has begged him for a vacation for months but Marco always declines them. The young pilot has visited a number of countries during his layoffs so he is not looking forward to traveling during his off days. He prefers to stay home after days or sometimes weeks outside.  

 

Marco gazes to the glistening night lights of Paris city center. The night lights are like little shining diamonds. When it reflects the river, it looks like those paint arts from the museum. A cold wind breezes through and it gives Marco chills. He wraps himself in his arms to warm himself. As he rubs himself for some heat, he could feel some clothing draped on him. The young pilot turns to Robert and he could see his senior gives him a warm smile. He could see Robert glowing under the lamp post. The young pilot mouth is slightly parted, but could not utter a single word to his colleague. He moves himself a little bit closer to Robert and shuts his eyes. He could picture Robert giving him soft wet kisses and caress each inch of his body, giving all the warmth he needs. 

 

"Marco? Marco?!"

 

"Huh?" Marco snaps out from his daydream. He glances around and realises he is in the plane. 

 

"Focus, Marco! You're driving a plane here." says captain Bastian Schweinsteiger with a stern voice. "234 people's lives are in your hands!"

 

"I'm sorry, captain!" Marco replies. He flicks a few switches of the plane nervously, trying to recall what he is supposed to do.

 

Bastian shakes his head and says, "Mesut, you'll be the 2nd driver."

 

"But captain-" Mesut tries to help Marco, but Bastian glares at him, resulting the pilot to shut his mouth.

 

"Captain, I'm fine." Marco cuts in. 

 

"I'm the captain here and Mesut will be driving," Bastian says with a stern voice.

 

"Yes, captain," Marco says with his head facing the floor. He surrenders his seat to his colleague and sits behind the two pilots. He sighs deeply, closes his eyes and rests. That is the only thing he could do as the young pilot is not allowed to steer the plane for the rest of the journey. When they land Germany safely, Mesut pulls him over and whispers.

 

"Hey, are you alright? You seemed off today."

 

Marco forces himself to smile and replies, "I'm fine."

 

But the actual fact is, Marco is far from being fine. His mind is fucked up with thoughts of lovemaking to Robert. The evening is not going well for the young pilot too. He gets a schooling from his captain for half an hour about his negligence on the plane. But he is not listening to his captain's scolding, finding the captain's voice annoying. He feels a huge relief when the captain finally lets him go. 

 

Marco opens the door when he reaches home, but his home sweet home shocks him with terror. The table is full of takeaway boxes, some with leftover in it. The television is left with the power on but nobody is watching it. There is a foul odor of dead mice in the room, causing Marco to purge. There are even cockroaches running around the floor. 

 

"Mario? Mario?!" he calls for his husband but there is no response. He proceeds to the room and notices the room is cluttered with clothes, with Mario burying himself on the bed. Mario turns around and Marco could see his husband's unkempt facial hair and messy hair. Mario looks like a caveman. He probably has not shaved for the whole week. He isn't even sure if Mario has bathed.

 

"Mario, what happened?" Marco asks.

 

Before he could get an answer from Mario, the lights go off. Marco glances to the window and he could see his neighbours still have lights in their houses. It seems like they are the only ones that do not have electricity.

 

"Mario, did you forgot to pay the bills?" he asks.

 

"I think so," Mario responds with a hesitant tone.

 

"You think so?" Marco says with a slightly annoyed tone. He continues, "Mario, what are you doing at home? I mean, you're not even working. The house is a mess, you're a mess and you can't do simple things like paying the bills?"

 

"I'm sorry, Marco." 

 

That is the only answer he got from Mario. Marco already had a tired and harsh day from his captain's scolding and now his house is a big mess. He feels like he is the only one working hard for the family while his husband is just sitting around and spends his money. He could not take it anymore and walks out from his house. He feels like screaming but looking at his surroundings it is probably not the best place to do so. The young pilot takes out his phone and scrolls through his phone book but finds himself stumbles in it. He is hoping to call someone to talk but he finds that it is not an easy task. He could not simply call some random person for such a personal issue. It has to be a close friend or relative. He could not call his hometown friends because all of them knows Mario. He could not call his family members as he does not want them to spread the news around. He scrolls and scrolls his phonebook until he sees Robert's name. He stops there and hesitates of pressing the call button.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know they have removed the love locks in Pont des Arts, but let's pretend it still exists :D
> 
> Some of the wordings might be weird because I had another language in my mind and it doesn't translate into English nicely. I will change them when I get more appropriate words.
> 
> I'm really sorry for what happened few days ago. I apologize for my foolish act and I hope you can forgive me. I promise I won't do such things anymore. 
> 
> Let's move on, shall we? =)


	6. Substitute Pilot

"Hello. It's me."

 

Marco squirms while he waits for Robert's response. It feels awkward to call his colleague in the middle of the night, but he has not many choices, to begin with. Marco really wants to talk to someone and clear his mind. His house is a huge mess, which is something he does not want to face right now. He is physically and mentally tired, so he prays that Robert is willing to lend him an ear and give him a shelter for the night. From the receiving voice tone, Marco could feel that Robert does not seem to be bothered by his request. In fact, Robert seems like a welcoming host when he reaches the senior pilot's doorstep. Robert looks sleek in a glossy ruby red sleeping robe and his hair is still perfectly combed. And oh, the way he curls his lip upward is alluring. How can someone be so flawless at this hour?

 

"Sorry to bother you in this hour," Marco says in a sheepish tone.

 

"Not at all. Come in." Robert replies with a smile, welcoming his colleague into his house. 

 

Marco glanced around the room. The living room is not much difference from the last time he visited a few months ago. It still has the same the same cream colour couch, marble coffee table and 40-inch flat screen television. He finds himself a spot on the couch and notices the table already has a bottle of whiskey and two rock glasses. 

 

"What's wrong?" 

 

Robert hands one of the glasses to Marco as he lounges beside the junior pilot with his other hand supporting his head. Marco takes a deep breath. To be honest, he has no idea where to start talking. He glances to the glass and contemplates. When Robert starts to put away the glass, he promptly takes the glass from Robert's hand and gulps the serving in one shot. He picks up the other glass without Robert's awareness and gulps it in a shot too. When Marco finishes the drink, he feels like a different man. The alcohol fuels his soul, it somehow gives him the courage to speak. He starts to babble about stuff, mostly intimate details about his relationship with Mario. Robert just stays beside him and strokes his shoulder to comfort the young pilot. Robert does not talk much and he did not expect much from Robert either. He just wants someone to vent out his frustrations. 

 

Marco feels a lot better the next morning although he is still a little embarrassed for bothering Robert. The sheepish feeling goes further when he finds out Robert has prepared breakfast for him. But now Marco is more positive about his relationship with Mario. Through last night's conversation, Marco realises the main problem is Mario's lack of aspiration. Mario has been a house husband since graduating from University. He has never had a full-time job before. At first, Mario wants to take some time out and take it slow after years of studying but now he has taken it too slow. With him not having a career, he does not have an ambition or a drive to do anything. That is probably why he becomes to slump.

 

Marco starts to discuss the career matters with Mario but Mario seems to dodge the topic by giving vague answers. Marco knows it will not be an easy task, so he tries to be patient with his husband. He tries getting some help from his friends, hoping for them to pull some strings for Marco. However, only André responds to him. There is an opening for a clerical position in André's company which has been vacant for some time. André assures him that Mario can easily get the job as the manager is desperate. Marco decides to grabs the opportunity. It is not the perfect job, but at least it can get Mario back on track. Marco also starts to text Robert more often after that night, updating the job searching progress to his colleague. There are also times they chat about stupid random stuff. He enjoys Robert's company in this period. Marco text about Mario's future job to Robert as soon as he hangs up the phone from the conversation with André. He is ecstatic about the job and when he reaches home, it is the first thing he speaks to Mario.

 

"Mario! Hey, guess what? I've found you a job!" Marco says with an ecstatic tone. But he could see Mario's smile fades as soon as he mentions the word job.

 

"What? But I've told you that I'll settle it myself, Marco." Mario replies with a frown.

 

"Yeah, but you've said that a month ago," Marco says with arms crossing and eyes narrowing to his husband. Mario lowers his head and becomes silent. Marco could see his husband purses his lips beneath the chubby cheeks. He takes a deep breath and continues, "André's company is hiring a clerk. Well, the starting pay is just average but the good thing is it is an international company with good medical benefits. It even has a gym."

 

"But it's not related to graphic design." Mario finally utters.

 

"Well... erm... the company is in the design industry." Marco replies, "Come on, just give it a try. Maybe you'll like it."

 

"But I don't want to," Mario says.

 

"Mario, you have been sitting in the house for a year. To be honest there are not many choices. You can't be so picky anymore. You have to start from somewhere." Marco says.

 

"Marco-" Mario utters, he tries to explain but he is quickly cut off by Marco.

 

"Just try it a month for me, okay? Please? And André is going to pick you up next Monday so don't even try to chicken out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the beginning of the chapter is a parody of Adele's Hello. Sue me :D
> 
> I know it's almost 3 months since I last posted. I had a massive writer's block on this fic. I can't seem to write or even read it XD Anyway, this chapter is kind of short as it is a transition to future chapters.
> 
> I'm sending some good luck to Germany NT for the knockout round which will be kicking off 30 minutes from now. Go Deutschland! :)


	7. Layover

Marco picks up his phone as an instant reaction to the phone buzzing on the nightstand. He grins to the phone as he scrolls down the messages with only the phone lighting as the lighting source. He constantly taps the phone, focusing on replying the messages that keep entering his message box, not conscious of his surroundings.

 

"Who's that?"

 

Marco flips out as soon as he heard a voice.  He turns to the side and he could see Mario turning on the bedroom lights, looking at him with half squinted eyes. Marco promptly puts his phone away and forces a smile to his husband. "Oh... Nothing. It's just my crazy colleagues."

 

"It's 1 am," Mario replies in a deadpan tone.

 

"Well... He's in Argentina right now. You know, he probably forgot that Germany is few hours ahead." Marco tries to laugh it off, hoping that his husband would believe his claims. He could hear Mario mumbling something before the latter shuts his eyes and pulls the blanket over the shoulder. Marco let out a huge breath and shortly joins Mario to sleep.

 

"Coming!"

 

Marco drags himself off the bed to the constant sounds of the doorbell, not even bother to groom himself for the person behind the door. He did not have much sleep from last night, spending most of the time tossing and turning on the bed. He still has not got used to the different time zone since coming back from New York on Thursday. It is already the middle of the day but the drowsiness dominates his body as he walks towards the door. When he cracks open the door, he is surprised to see André at his doorstep holding a brown medium size box.

 

"Hey, is Mario here?" André says.

 

"He went out, I think. What's up?" Marco replies.

 

"Oh, nothing much. I just want to drop off some stuff." André says.

 

"What is it?" Marco asks as he receives the box from André. Inside the box, there is a picture of Mario and himself, a mug and a dead plant. Marco just bought that plant two months ago for Mario. Although now it is very different from the day he bought it but he could recognise the plant through the hand painted pot. The young pilot is puzzled to see these stuff here so he questions his friend. "Aren't these Mario's stuff from the office? Why are you bringing them back?"

 

"Erm..." André avoids eye contact with Marco, looks hesitant to speak.

 

"André, just tell me," Marco says with an anxious tone.

 

André glances at Marco then looks away and sighs. It took him a while to open his mouth. "Well, Mario is terminated because he didn't show up to work for a week. We tried calling his phone but he didn't pick up."

 

Marco gives a side eye before heading to the kitchen counter. He grabs the table calendar and scans through the dates. Yesterday was a Friday. Friday is supposed to be a working day for office workers but he remembered Mario was at home the whole day. Marco did not suspect anything back then as the normal office working hours has slipped through his mind. Thinking back, Mario always seems to be at home whenever he comes back. Marco thought it was a coincidence but now he realises it is not at all. He is very disappointed in Mario's behaviour. All these times Mario had been lying about going to work but the fact is, he has terminated a long time ago. Marco grabs his phone and starts calling his husband but no one picks up at the other line. Feeling frustrated, he could only wait for Mario to come back. As the hours gone by, his face gradually turns darker and when Mario finally reaches home, Marco's anger has reached the boiling point.

 

"Mario, how's work?" Marco asks with a snarky tone, crossing his arms as he pins Mario with his eyes. 

 

"Oh. It was alright." Mario replies with a forced smile.

 

Marco pushes the brown box to the other end of the kitchen counter and starts to raise his voice. "Mario, when are you going to tell me that you're fired?"

 

Mario stuns for two seconds and then starts raising his voice too. "Okay, I was fired. I didn't want to work there anymore! Happy?"

 

Marco rolls his eyes and continues, "How can you just walk away like that? What kind of working attitude was that? And how would you know whether you liked the job or not? You just worked there for like a week?" 

 

"Three days," Mario confesses.

 

"Three days. Really? Mario, you're not a child anymore. You can't quit just because you don't like something insignificant." Marco says.

 

"No, it's not like that-" Mario explains.

 

"People have to work for a living. Money doesn't fall from trees." Marco continues.

 

"I didn't want to take this job in the first place! You're the one that wanted me to work there!" Mario says.

 

"Oh really? Did I force you? Did I not give you any chances to find a job by yourself?" Marco asks.

 

"Just... Just leave me alone!"

 

Mario storms out of the house just like that, leaving Marco alone in the house. Marco slumps on the couch, shakes his head as he is utterly disappointed with his husband's childish behaviour. Mario is already a grown man and he should think about his future. Marco wonders when his husband will realise that he needs to have a goal or purpose in life. In the midst of Marco's thoughts, the phone on the coffee table rings and he pick up the phone. The call is from the company, asking him to replace Mesut for the flight to Amsterdam which will be flying at 0800 tomorrow. Marco patiently waits in the living room for Mario to come home, hopefully, they could talk it out before he leaves for work. Mario eventually comes home after wandering for 3 hours but he just goes straight to the bedroom, not even give an eye to Marco when he passes by the living room. The house is insanely quiet and Marco does not feel good about it. Marco has the urge to talk to Mario but at the same time, he feels that he should not be the first one to open his mouth. He thinks he is right on this issue and he will stick to his views. Why should he be the one to bow down? Mario was the unreasonable one. He sits on the couch, patiently waits for his husband to apologise but the apology never came. When Marco finally walks into the bedroom, he watches Mario grabbing a pillow and walks away. Marco grunts by himself and drops on the bed. He is tired of Mario's childish behaviour. He shuts his eyes and hopes that Mario will have a self-examination on his life.

 

"Mario, I'm leaving to Amsterdam."

 

Marco knocks the guest room a few times but there is no response. He looks at the time and it is 3 am in the morning. Mario might have just slept not too long ago. Marco tries to crack open the door but it is locked. It is too early to wake his husband up through the other side of the door. The neighbours would not be happy about that. But Marco has to leave the house now so he leaves a note at the refrigerator. He is still gutted about yesterday's incident but he just has to fix that after his trip to Amsterdam.

 

When Marco reaches his workplace he finally able to smile when he finds out that Robert is in the same flight with him. He has so many things to vent about so having his senior here is a big help. Of course, he could message him through the phone too but nothing beats a face to face conversation. Marco did not waste a second to meet Robert after work. He did not even bother to change his clothes. Robert welcomes him as usual, giving him all smiles and serve him nice alcoholic drinks. After a few drinks on the bed, Marco starts to pour out his feelings about his relationship with Mario again. 

 

"I'm sorry that you have to go through this. You don't deserve this shit." Robert says, caressing Marco's shoulder and thigh. Robert shifts closer and closer and he whispers. "You deserve better." He starts pecking on Marco's neck.

 

Marco promptly shifts away from Robert as soon as he realises something unusual. He looks at Robert and asks, "Lewy, what are you doing?"

 

"Oh stop playing games with me, Marco Reus. I know you want it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm back! This is another short chapter as I wanted to make a cliffhanger *hehehe*


	8. 1st Class Service

"I saw how you looked at me everytime we hit the gym. I know you want me."

 

Marco gulps listening to Robert's words. His limbs are trembling as his senior is speaking up his mind. Marco has indeed dreaming erotic scenes of Robert and himself but never in his life he thinks it will actually happen. He is shocked to see a mischievous smile on Robert's face as if the senior pilot knew about exactly how his erotic dreams were. He grabs on to the sofa, hesitant on the next move as his heart and mind are not on the same page. Robert draws himself closer to Marco and whispers, "Relax baby. If none of us says anything, your husband will not notice a thing." The senior pilot flashes a sly smile with a pair of alluring dreamy eyes that mesmerises Marco.

 

"Right," Marco replies. He has always been curious about the feeling of kissing somebody else other than Mario, and Robert's oh so sexy figure seems to arouses him further. It would quite a waste to be left out on this opportunity. Since Robert has promised to make this a secret, just having fun for that one time would not hurt, right? The dreamy eyes lure him towards Robert's direction, his heart races a thousand miles in an hour and the alcohol he consumed seem to encourage him to make a move. He gives a lopsided smile to Robert, gently holds Robert's chin and then starts to suck those luxurious lips, quenching the thirst of lust that he has been having for quite some time. He stretches his tongue and immediately finds it intertwine with Robert's, having a tango in their mouths. When he finally pulls away from Robert, he could feel a different sense of achievement. 

 

Marco glances to the side as he notices some movement of Robert's hand. The senior pilot reaches for his own pocket and pulls out a tiny bottle and a couple of condoms. It seems like Robert is pretty much prepared for this. It gives him a sense of comfort that his friend is health cautious. Robert leans towards Marco and starts to sink his teeth into Marco's neck, leaving a few souvenirs on the pale skin. It twitches Marco but at the same time, he enjoys it. He could feel hands roaming all over him and before Marco realises, Robert has peeled off his top. Marco lets out a few soft moans, asking his colleague to stop but his heart urges for more. He could feel Robert's hands sliding down to his waist, sneaking its way into his pants. Marco did not stop Robert, instead, he lets Robert brushes his thighs area with slow and gentle strokes, letting the senior pilot move closer towards his genital area and slowly explores the forbidden territory. Marco could feel himself already hard before the main event. He instinctively finds his hands peeling off Robert's clothes one by one and it does not take long to have both of them in birthday suits on the couch. Those gentle whisperings of dirty languages are like music to Marco's ears. The hot whiskey scent in Robert's breath arouses him, encouraging him to spread his legs wide, granting full access to the other man.

 

"Let me take you for a ride that you'll never forget," Robert says with a sneaky smile and before Marco could reply anything, the senior pilot has already slipped his fingers to Marco, making the junior pilot squirm. Robert pushes his fingers further to reach the sweet spot, pushing all the right buttons, making the junior pilot wince and moan in pleasure. Robert has probably done this plenty of times before him as the senior pilot is such an expert in it. When Robert finally pushes himself into Marco, the junior pilot moans louder as he lost into another universe. Robert slides himself in and out to Marco, taking it slow and sensual. Every slow thrust makes Marco let out a small cry. He could not remember the last time someone has embracing his body like now. The last sex he had with Mario did not end up in a good way so this is definitely a step up from there.

 

"You like it?"

 

Marco is lost for words. He could only bite his lips and nods as he is too immersed in this whole process. Marco has never thought that being controlled can be such a fun experience and he has never felt so alive before. He could feel Robert picking up the pace, body slamming on his getting rougher by every thrust. The friction between them causing Marco to moan louder and it does not take Robert long for making him an orgasm. When he feels like he could barely take it any longer, he could feel a weight on him.

 

Gosh, sex is good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! 
> 
> I hope this short chapter can make up for my absence :D It took me a looooong time to write this short chapter and I hope it's okay *buries face in hands* I wrote this chapter while listening to Ellie Goulding's Under The Sheets.


	9. Wrong Strategy

The hot sun blazes through the window, forcing Marco to crack open his eyes. With a blurry sight, he notices a figure lying beside him and he could tell that the figure is not Mario. His eyes immediately turn wide as from that moment, he knows he is in deep trouble. 

 

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" he curses by himself as he tries to get off the bed. Marco knows the seriousness of the situation when he realizes he is fully naked with his colleague on the same bed. Scenes from last night slowly creeping back to his memory. He shakes it off and scrambles through the bed sheet, searching for his clothes with no avail.

 

"Whoa! Calm down, baby. We just fucked last night. Do you still have the strength to go full blow?" Robert responds. He gazes at Marco with a lopsided smile on his face.

 

"Haha, very funny, Lewy. Mario is going to kill me now." Marco says with a sarcastic tone while putting on his undies. "Why the hell you didn't stop me?"

 

"Well, sometimes you just got to do what your heart tells you to," Robert replies.

 

"You're not helping, Lewandowski," Marco says.

 

"Oh yes, I did. And you knew it." Robert answers and gives Marco a wink.

 

"Argh, if you tell anyone outside this room I will kill you," Marco says, hopping around and struggling with his pants.

 

"Of course. It's in the agreement and don't worry, I don't want to die so early too." Robert gives a pat on Marco's shoulder and continues, "Chill out, babe. We're in Amsterdam. Everyone that we know aren't here and your husband is like 200km away? He won't know."

 

Marco gives a stare to Robert. He is not convinced but he hopes that Robert is right.

 

It turns out that Robert does seem to have kept his part of the deal as none of the colleagues suspects a thing. There are no wary or discriminating eyes in the office so far. But Marco himself is not doing well to cover his own scandal. His hands are sweaty the whole time when Mario is around him and he could not even dare to look at Mario in the eye when his husband is talking. 

 

"What's wrong, Marco? Are you not feeling well?" Mario says and places his hand on Marco's moisten forehead.

 

"What's wrong? Nope. Nothing. Everything is fine." Marco replies in a stuttering tone. He tries to hide it with a smile but it only seems to worsen the situation. Mario is starring at him with a slight suspicion face. Marco waves his hands animatedly and accidentally knocks down the half glass of milk in the process. The spill runs all over the dining table and some on the floor too. Marco winces at his blunder. He quickly turns his sight back to Mario and tries to laugh it off. "Whoops! It's okay! It's alright! Everything's fine. Just a little milk spilling."

 

Marco grabs a piece of kitchen towel and starts to dab on the table, eyes glancing back and forth to his husband. He is relieved that Mario does not ask any further questions. He also tries to make up his mistake by showering Mario with lavish presents, including a DSLR and an expensive dinner. Mario is dumbfounded by it, but he is happy nonetheless. Everything else seems more tolerable to Marco in the recent days. The messy house does not even tick him as it used to. He could fix it by hiring a part-time maid. No hassle. Mario not having a job? It is okay. Marco could cover for the both of them. Mario's high spending habit? No big deal. It is just money. Mario's bad temper? Everyone has bad days.

 

It has been quite some time the couple had any intimate actions in the bedroom and in fact, it is the first time they share the same bed after the blowup. It is natural that Marco is yearning for some sexual innuendos. He flashes a lopsided smile as a weird idea pops out from his mind. Maybe he could try the moves that Robert showed him the other day to Mario. He slumps to the bed and shifts towards his husband. He then slips his hand to his husband's waist gives a trail of sloppy kisses on the neck. Mario shrugs and responses in a deadpan tone.

 

"Not today, Marco."

 

"I have something new to show you," Marco whispers and sneaks his hand into Mario's pants. 

 

Mario forcefully flicks Marco's hand away. He then turns to Marco and pierces his eyes to his husband and shouts, "I said not today! Did you not follow me?!"

 

Marco's heart drops to his husband's response. He is speechless as he watches Mario turns his back and pulls up the sheets. With a disappointing end, Marco looks away and gazes at his phone. He grabs the phone and starts surfing the internet randomly. He unexpectedly turns his urge of having sex to watching porn. Because that is the best alternative to physical sex, right? He randomly searches for the words 'hot gay sex' and millions of porn videos pop out. He clicks on a video and another video and another and soon, he finds himself spending the whole night watching porn. At first, it is intriguing. But as he watches on, the videos all look the same. It was all inserting and thrusting of the penis back and forth. The only difference is the people. Marco's eyes begin to feel heavy, sore and red by now but the stubbornness in him insist on watching another video. There is a video screenshot image with a man blindfolded, gagged and tied has somehow piqued his curiosity. He clicks on the video and it is an eye-opening moment for him. There are mixed feelings of eerie, arousing and excitement to this video. Marco has watched plenty of porn prior to today but there were nothing like this. It looks wrong and degrading but somehow he feels that could be a fun sexual experience. The receiver in the video looks pleasured despite having pain and humiliation. Marco could not understand it. But somehow it is interesting enough for him that he would like to experience it himself. 

 

"Marco, what are you watching?"

 

Marco flips out and fumbles his phone as soon as he heard a voice calling him. Mario is sitting beside him, prying on his phone before starring at him with a perplexed face. Marco looks at his phone and back to his husband with eyes wide open as he is hesitant to show his underground activity. But at last, he chooses to share the video with his husband.

 

"Nothing. I'm just watching this video," he says as he taps on the phone to reload the video. As the video is playing, Marco glances to Mario and notices his husband's face is crumpled. It does not take long for Mario to make a response.

 

"Ugh. Gross. How could people do that to their partner?" Mario says. "Marco, turn it off!"

 

Marco's heart sinks hearing those words from Mario. He was hoping to spice things up in the bedroom but the response he got from his husband is a bucket of cold water. Mario does not even want to take another look at the video and just walks away. Marco lets out a huge sigh and tosses his phone away. He slumps to his bed and shuts his eyes for a good rest. Moments later, the phone rings with a message notification. Marco opens his eyes and reaches for his phone. It is a text from Robert.

 

Robert: Hey ;)

 

For some odd reason, Robert always seems to appear at the right times. Marco starts to vent all his problems to Robert like he normally does, complaining his tasteless sexual activities with Mario to Robert. Marco feels comfortable talking about it with Robert as he always seems to have a good way to calm Marco down with words. As the conversation goes on, Marco remembers the kinky video he watched earlier and wonders if Robert has any knowledge in it.

 

Marco: I have a question.

Robert: Go ahead and ask ;)

Marco: What do you think of BDSM?

Robert: Babe, I didn't know you are into this kink ;)

Marco: Well no, I'm just curious.

Robert: Well, I did it a couple of times. But it was a long time ago.

Robert: Do you want to try it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness. It was a long writing block and thank you for those who are still supporting this despite the lack of updates. This chapter was supposed to be longer but I split it into two parts for two reasons. I wanted to put out something as soon as possible and I want to give a little suspense. Hehehe... A little hint for next chapter: There is also a little plot twist.


	10. Personal Pilot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Erotic scenes are in this chapter. Read with your own risk. Also, there is slight violence and BDSM in it. If you are easily triggered by these things, skip the chapter.

"Right. Are you ready?" 

 

Marco nods to Robert as a response even though he still has doubts about whatever is about to happen. Anxiety starts to creep into him when he glances the room full of chains, collars, handcuffs, whips and god know what items. He picks up one of the collars and turns to Robert. He asks, "Wow. Do you do this all the time?"

 

"No. Not really. In fact, I haven't been using them for some time. Hannah was into these things and she got me into them. But I stopped doing it after she was gone because I couldn't trust anyone." Robert replies. He pauses a little, staring at Marco before opening his mouth again. "Are you scared? You know you can always back out. I don't mind."

 

"Ha, me? Of course not." Marco replies with a slight stutter in his voice, still pretending to man up despite his legs are weak.

 

"Don't worry, you'll be fine. I promise. It will be a bit pain but it's going to be pleasurable." Robert says, flashing a smile to Marco and continues, "The most important thing you need to know about BDSM is safety. We use safety words among ourselves so that we know the limits of our partners. Pick a nonsexy word that you can remember easily."

 

Marco raises his eyebrows and starts scanning the hotel room. The cheeseball wrapper on the coffee table caught his eye so he utters, "Err... cheese ball?"

 

"Cheese ball it is." Robert says with a lopsided smile and continues, "So, is there anything you fancy in the room?" 

 

Marco scans through the items laying on the bed. Some of them are looks intimidating so he picks up a whip, and a pair of handcuffs hands it to Robert. Robert stares at the whip for some time before putting his sight back to Marco and asks, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

 

Marco bites his lip and nods to Robert. He takes a deep breath as a blindfold covers over his sight. He feels lost, anxious and intense under the blindfold knowing that countless uncertainties are coming his way. When his hands are being cuffed, he feels a bit panicky but Robert's words calm him down. The intensity builds up when clothes are being peeled off his body piece by piece until he is fully bare.

 

"From now on, you're mine. You can only please me and no other. Do you understand?" Robert instructs.

 

"Yes," Marco replies.

 

"Yes? Yes, what?" Robert asks.

 

"Yes, sir," Marco replies. He could feel a subtle hand gripping his face.

 

"Good boy. Don't come until I tell you." Robert whispers to his ear. Marco could feel hands tracing down to his private area and some lubricant is applied on his skin. He could then feel something rubbing his skin, tantalising it back and forth without submitting. The teasing arouses him, causing blood flows towards his genitals but left him feeling helpless with his both hands cuffed on the bed frame. 

 

"Oh god, no!" Marco moans while trying to resist from coming. He could feel a couple of fingers in him, pressuring him. He could feel his orgasm tenfold as the fingers are curling and rubbing inside him. The rhythm gradually increases until he reaches the climax. It is only then the fingers are removed from him.

 

"What did I say about coming?" Robert says with an unpleasant tone.

 

"I'm sorry," Marco replies. But there are no further words from Robert but he could feel his hands are released from the bed frame. He could feel a force yanking him forward and then his hands are strapped together at his back. Marco's heartbeat increases rapidly. He asks, "Robert, what's wrong?"

 

"You're getting a punishment for coming," Robert says.

 

"Bend over!" Robert instructs him and he obeys it. A stroke casts to his butt, leaving a sting on him. "Don't come until I tell you to, do you hear me?"

 

"Ah!" Marco moans, this time as another whip is cast on his skin again. "Yes?"

 

"Yes what?" Robert asks.

 

"Yes, sir," Marco replies after another receiving another whip that is harder than the previous one. The fun starts to fade away when his body reacts more and more on the stings. Pain starts to become unbearable to him. Marco lets out a soft cry and squirms to the side after another whip is cast on his body. The spanking does not feel like anything in the videos he has seen previously. This activity is no longer fun for him. He wants it to be stopped.

 

"Ouch! Stop!" He cries. But instead of stopping he receives another slap.  

 

"Ouch! Lewy, please stop!" Marco cries again after another stroke of whipping.

 

"Ouch! Lewy, stop! It hurts!" Marco yells at the top of his lungs, pleading Robert to stop. It is then a sound of dropping object emerge and the whipping has stopped since. Marco could hear Robert's voice in the background.

 

"Oh shit! Marco, did you mean cheeseball?! Are you trying to tell me to stop for real?"

 

Marco nods to him, curling himself into a ball. Handcuffs and blindfold are removed from him, wet kisses are planted on his wounds. Robert murmurs, "I'm so sorry, baby. I should have been more attentive."

 

"No, it's not your fault. It was me who didn't say the safe word." Marco utters in pain. 

 

Robert cuddles Marco in his arms and murmurs, "I'm sorry, Marco. I won't whip you again."

 

Marco distance himself from Robert after that incident but it only takes less than a fortnight for Marco to fall back into Robert again. There are no spanking this time but more intimacy to replace it. Marco lets Robert's hand traces his back to his bottom, devour his private areas. Robert's touches are intoxicating and satisfying, it sends shivers down his spine. Suggestive words and the brushes of his neck tingles him. Every thrust into his body is like a drug injected into his body. Marco could not help pulling the sheets of the bed. His moans fill the room every time Robert thrust into him.

 

"Sleep well, baby. I'm flying to Prague later this evening." Robert murmurs to him.

 

Marco's eyes turn wide listening to Robert's words. He grabs Robert's arm, eyes gazing on to Robert. "No, Lewy! Please don't go! I need you!"

 

Robert gives him a blank stare and then whispers to him. "Hmm... I guess I could call in sick."

 

Marco finds himself drawn to Robert for the next few weeks. He tries to erase the memories of Robert's nude body but fails miserably. Without realising, Robert has become his drug. The carving of lovemaking becomes more frequent until the point where he would request for shift swapping so he could be with Robert. And Robert is almost always available to him which pleasures him even more. If Robert could not be with him that time, he would call Robert for phone sex or spend the night watching kinky videos of themselves. At first, they would normally do their monkey business overseas but lately, Marco requests to do it in Germany too. His hunger for sex grows stronger. But whenever Robert leaves the next morning, his soul would always turn back to hollow. 

 

It is a Thursday night and Marco wanted to call Robert but the latter is on a flight to California. Marco looks around the room before picking up his phone to open a video clip of their love making the other night. He slumps to the bed and plugs on his earphones to listen to the sexual melodies of the video clip. When Mario rejoins him in the room, Marco promptly taps away from the video and act as if nothing has happened. 

 

"Marco, what's that?"

 

"Oh, that? That's just the captain reminding me to be on time tomorrow." Marco brushes it off and puts his phone away. He plants a kiss to his husband and spreads out his smile. He plops on the bed and shuts his eyes, pretending everything is normal. Mario stays awake for a couple of minutes before lying down to join him. Throughout the night, Marco could feel Mario distant from him everytime he tries to cacoon his husband. Eventually, Marco becomes too tired and gives up on his act.

 

Chattering voices from the living room interrupt Marco from sleeping. Marco cracks open his eyes with his mind still appears drowsy. He looks at the clock and it is already 9 am. He wonders what is happening downstairs as it is unusual for Mario having guests over without his knowledge. Marco pushes his hair back and marches downstairs towards the laughter sounds. He trembles when he realises Robert Lewandowski is in his living room with his husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cheese ball thingy is a reference of Alvin and the Chipmunks movie :D (Because I literary can't think of anything else... haha...)
> 
> P/s: sorry, I had to change Robert's ex-girlfriend's name again. It's Hannah now.
> 
> Really really sorry for such a late update (and hopefully the next chapter won't take this long. Well it's half written already so hopefully it goes out by April). I did some research for this chapter and I hope it's alright. But like all my works, I may do a little changes in them from time to time. (So yeah, I'll improve it later)
> 
> Some of you might know that I'm not a big fan of smut, and in fact I do cringe at most of them. But now I wrote one myself and I hope I don't make people cringe in this. :P Eeepp...


	11. Storm Warning

"Hey! You're awake! Your colleague is here and we were just talking about pretzels in Munich." Mario says with a bright smile on his face. Marco glances to the coffee table and there is half full coffee in cups and snacks on it. It seems like Robert has been here a while already. Marco narrows his brows, wondering what the two guys have exchanged without his knowledge.

 

"Oh hi, Lewy. Uhm, what brings you here?" Marco utters.

 

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot the real reason!" Robert replies, giving a smiling glance to Mario before continuing, "You left this at the airport. I thought I came by to give you since I'm heading the town."

 

"Oh. Thanks." Marco says while he receives the bag from Robert. He looks down to the bag of cashmere scarves that Mario's mom has asked him to buy from Scotland. Marco flashes a smile back to Robert with a polite thank you.

 

"Well, don't just stand there like a wood, Liebling, sit down," Mario says, patting the sofa seat beside him. Marco slumps to the sofa, joining his husband and immediately he could feel arms clutching to his. During the whole morning, Marco could not stop squirming as though ants are crawling on his body. He is praying that either Robert or Mario would run out of conversations but new topics keep coming in every time one of them mentions something new. Every now and then Marco would get a blank stare from Mario following with a question about his well being but Marco brushes him off with a weak smile. Mario and Robert seem to enjoy each others' company, chatting non-stop about food, football, celebrities, and music, to the point that Mario even suggests to have lunch together at the bistro. Marco tried all sorts of excuses to stop them, even with a tummy ache drama but it does not stop them from the lunch. The two could not stop poking fun of Marco during the meal, with Marco sitting there poking his potato and praying for the hangout session to end as soon as possible before Robert spills out any unwanted hints. It is only when Robert excuses himself after the meal Marco finally has a breather. He excuses himself a few seconds later to the toilet as well, to chase after Robert for a private conversation.

 

"Baby, don't do this again!" Marco whispers as soon as he caught up with Robert.

 

"Do what?" Robert asks him with a blank stare.

 

"Don't show up at my house like this again," Marco replies with wide eyes staring to Robert.

 

"Why?" Robert asks with a perplexed face.

 

"Just don't. Look, I'll come to you later, okay? Tonight, I promise. Just leave now." Marco says, planting a kiss on Robert's lips before the latter could say anything. Marco swiftly returns to the table and grins at his husband, pretending that nothing had happened.

 

The day continues with Marco showering sweet words to Mario, making his husband feels delighted and he somehow manages to persuade Mario for an early sleep. Marco sneaks out of the house after he believes that his husband has fallen asleep. At the middle of the journey to Robert's place, he realises that he left his phone in the room but he does not bother to fetch it as turning back might awaken his husband. That will ruin his plan for the night, which is something that he does not want as he has waiting for the meeting with Robert the whole day. He does not need a phone anyway since Robert will be in the house waiting for his arrival. Marco parks his car at Robert's place and races to the door. As soon as the door is answered, Marco moves forward and throws his arms to Robert. But to his surprise, he has quickly pushed away. His eyes turn wide at Robert.

 

"Stop. Marco, stop," says Robert with a deadpan look.

 

Marco stares at Robert and tries to guess Robert's mind. Thoughts of lunch they had earlier clicks his mind. So he responds as he places his hand to caress Robert's cheek. "Oh, are you still mad about this afternoon, baby? Don't worry, I'll make it up to you."

 

"Marco, I'm serious. We shouldn't be doing this anymore. We should end this right now. You have a wonderful husband waiting for you at home. Go back to him. Go home." Robert says, removing Marco's hand from him.

 

"Well let's not talk about him, okay?" Marco says as he attempts to kiss Robert once again.

 

"No, seriously stop!" Robert responds, blocking Marco to come near towards him. "What we did was a mistake. We need to end this now."

 

Marco stumbles a little. He stares at Robert with eyebrows narrowed, wondering why Robert is behaving this way. "Did Mario said something to you?"

 

"No, he didn't. In fact, I don't think he has known anything about us yet. So we might as well end this now." Robert responds. He pauses a little and then continues, "But your husband mentions you all the time. Like almost every sentence there is you in it. He loves you, Marco. He really loves you. Don't hurt him anymore."

 

"Good night."

 

That is the last sentence Robert says to him following with a door closing. Marco bangs on the door, begging Robert to let him in but there is no response from the other side of the door. Eventually, he gives up and leaves the house with despair. He switches on the car engine and starts to drive with his mind is still trying to figure out what Mario has said to Robert that causes the 180° change. When he reaches home, Mario is still asleep on the other side of the bed. Marco slumps to his side for a shut eye. As he tosses around the bed, he could feel a hard object under him. Marco grabs the object and realises that it is his phone. But he remembers precisely that he had put his phone on the nightstand and not on the bed. Instead of finding out the answer, he just places the phone back to the nightstand and returns to sleep as he is too tired and lazy to figure out things at this hour.

 

The mood during the next morning is unusually unpleasant with Mario darting at him a couple of times. It is definitely not the best experience to have at the start of the day. Marco tries to make it up with a kiss but he is swiftly rejected with an excuse that he has not brushed his teeth. Marco purses his lips as he is not pleased by the response but still reluctantly goes to the bathroom for a quick cleansing. When he comes out from the bathroom, his stomach starts to growl. He approaches his husband once again.

 

"Mario, let's have breakfast at Sophia's," Marco says. He continues after having no response from his husband. "You like the pretzels there, right? Mario?" 

 

After a moment of silence, Mario finally responds with a snort and replies, "Are you still hungry after having white sausage last night?"

 

"Huh?" Marco is dazed by Mario's reply. He remembered that they did not have white sausage the night before nor Sofia's serves white sausage either. He asks, "What are you talking about Mario?" 

 

"Don't ask me. You know it very well." Mario replies with eyes glaring before leaving the room.

 

It leaves Marco with a big question mark, wondering what he has done wrong this morning to deserve this treatment from his husband. Maybe he had jumped out the wrong side of the bed or something. His stomach growls again so he heads to the kitchen to fix his empty stomach. Marco salvages through the kitchen and found a box of cereal. Even with the bear on the cereal box smiling ridiculously at him, it does not lifts up his mood. As he munches through the milk-soaked cereal, he receives a message notification on his phone. It is from the credit card company reminding him for his payment. Marco realises that it is 3rd day of the month today, which is his credit card statement day. He wastes no time to log in the online banking website and clicks on his statement. His eyes almost pop out when he sees the hefty amount on his credit card statement.

 

"MARIO!!!"

 

Marco jumps out from his chair, almost spilling the cereal bowl with his hand. Mario arrives the room swiftly with eyes wide open. Marco gives a glare as he raises his voice and places a finger on the phone screen. "What's this?!" 

 

"Oh, I've- just spent a little bit much this time. You don't need to raise your voice." Mario replies with a tiny voice.

 

"Spent a little bit too much? Mario! How did you spend three thousand euros a month?! Especially this one. A thousand Euros? Really? How did you spend a thousand Euros on clothes? And you bought a new phone? Your phone isn't even a year old! Mario, I'm not an ATM machine! Do you know how many flights I need to go to earn that money?" Words keep spitting out like a machine gun to Mario. Mario's face quickly turns dark.

 

"If you don't want to pay it, fine! I'll pay it myself! I don't need your help!" Mario fights back to him.

 

"Huh! And how are you going to pay? You don't even have a job!" Marco slams back at his husband.

 

"Well, you don't have to worry! I'll find my own way! Even if I borrow from loan sharks I won't ask you for money! Okay?!" Mario snaps back.

 

"Mario, are you crazy?! Don't fuck yourself with loan sharks!" Marco raises his voice once again.

 

"Well, at least I'm fucking myself up. I didn't fuck by someone else like you." Mario shouts back at him.

 

Marco stunts to Mario's words. It seems like his husband is telling him something along the lines. But he shakes the thought away and tries pretending he is innocent about it. He utters, "Mario... what are you talking about?"

 

"Lewy? Is that his name? Or Baby? Is that how you call him? I know he's a pilot, he's handsome and taller than me. He has the 6 pack that you always dreamt of and he's fucking perfect. But why? How can you do this to me?" Mario says as tears bursting out from the eyes.

 

"Uhm... It's just this one time. We were both drunk that time. It won't happen again, I promise." Marco utters.

 

"One time? Huh." Mario snorts at him and continues, "Then what is X position? What is Stairway to Heaven? Oh, baby, fuck me until I bleed."

 

"I feel sick by saying it." Mario continues.

 

Marco stumbles after listening to Mario's words. Judging by the way Mario describe his words, he has probably gone through all messages and videos on the phone. And that leaves Marco no space to twist the truth. Never in a million years that he thought Mario would find out his dirty laundry. He only wanted to enjoy Robert's pleasure in private. He never wanted the secret to open. He has never wanted to hurt Mario like this. He is left speechless.

 

"Answer me!!!" Mario shouts at him.

 

"No, Mario! It's not like that! Let me explain!" Marco shakes his head and responds.

 

"Don't touch me, you dirty whore!" Mario screams, vigorously removes Marco's hand from his arm.

 

"Mario, we have ended the relationship. I swear! I'm sorry!" Marco says as tears start to fall from his eyes. "I won't do it again!"

 

"Stop lying! I don't want to listen to any of your lies anymore!" Mario shouts at him. "I hope you and that slut crash and burn together in hell!"

 

"Mario, I'm sorry! Please forgive me!" Marco gets down to his knees and tears continue to pour down from his cheeks.

 

"Get out! Get out!!!" Mario screams. He yanks Marco's arm and shoves him to the door, before slamming it hard. Marco curls himself into a ball and winces.

 

With no place to return, Marco wanders around the city with only his phone with him. He tries hard to shut himself out from the fight he had with Mario, distracting himself with the happenings in the busy street. But somehow, everything he sees relates back to Mario. The dog on the street reminds him of the dog they rescued before Mario's parents gave it to somebody else. The pretzel that the girl is eating reminds him of Mario as it pretzel is Mario's favourite. Even the camera that a man is holding reminds him of Mario because Mario used to take photographs. Marco has no idea how long he has wondered when he heads to the toilet. He turns on the sink and splashes water onto his face to refresh himself. As he looks himself in the mirror, he could see the airplane locket that he had dangling on his neck. Wonderful memories of himself and Mario starting to come into his mind. Memories of Mario cutting his hair, memories of them massaging each other, kissing in the library while risking themselves of being caught in the act... then memories of the fight earlier creeps into his mind ruins the good times. Marco feels disgusted by himself for being unfaithful to Mario, so bad that he feels like he deserved to die. He feels awful physically and mentally with his stomach roaring from time to time. If only Mario had thrown his wallet out when he was thrown out of the house he probably would not be in this bad shape. Without money in his pocket, he could not even buy himself a burger. He tried to put his ego away, asking people for money but nobody bothers to gives him a penny. Marco somehow walks his way to André's house, in hope that his best friend would let him stay for a night.

 

"Hey, sorry to disturb bro but I need your help. Can I stay here for the night?" Marco says as soon as the door is opened.

 

"Marco? Erm... I'm sorry, bro. I really can't. I have a company here tonight." André replies, he looks to the back where a spiky hair dude is before turning back to Marco. "Are you having a fight with Mario?"

 

"Yeah... but it's nothing big. Don't worry. We'll be alright tomorrow. It's okay. I understand. Have fun." Marco replies with a botox smile. He pats André's shoulder before stepping away from the doorstep.

 

"Hey, don't be so hard on him," André says. 

 

Marco breaks on his footsteps as he heard André's words. He turns back to his best friend and responds, "Huh?"

 

"Mario. I might be wrong but I think he has depression." André continues.

 

André's words piqued his curiosity. Depression has never registered into his mind when Mario behaved differently in the recent months. His husband has always lived in a carefree life and stress had never been an issue. But André might be right. Depression might explain Mario's weird and inconsistent behaviour. Fatigue, feelings of guilt, worthlessness, insomnia, excessive sleeping, grumpiness, loss of interest in sex, overeating and persistent sad feelings are all symptoms of depression. The more he thinks about it, the more it makes sense. He continues to wander around the streets until he could hear his name being called.

 

"Marco?"

 

Marco turns around and he could see Robert standing at the other side of the road. He knows he should not be with Robert right now, especially Robert is the reason he is kicked out of the house. But he does not have much choice right now. He needs a shelter and a tummy to fill. And Robert is the only one that could provide him these right now. There are not many words between the two, with Marco spending most of the time eating. There are not much sleeping throughout the night either. Marco spends the night tossing and turning on Robert's guest bed. Mario keeps on appearing in his mind like a ghost, distracting him from his sleep.

 

The next morning Marco leaves the house with a thank you note on the coffee table. He grabs some cash from the drawer and makes his way to the airport. He texts Robert about the money on the way to the airport, swearing that he will return it once he comes back from Barcelona. As soon as Marco reaches the airport, he tries to concentrate on work but none of the things that his captain said registered in his mind. In the middle of the discussion, Marco is called to the office by the commander. Marco's heart twitches as the commander normally does not interfere with the discussions. He wonders what has happened that leads to this important meeting.

 

"Marco, you're not flying today, Mr. Reus." the commander says in a nonchalant tone.

 

"What?! Why?" Marco exclaims after hearing the commander's words.

 

"You're not fit to fly." The commander replies. "We are going to run some tests on you."

 

"No! No! Commander, I have to fly. Please let me fly!" Marco quickly responds.

 

The commander shakes his head in disagreement, telling Marco that the decision is final. Marco notices Robert is standing at the side of the room without saying a word. His senior is evading his eye contact every time Marco looks at him. The whole situation looks fishy. Robert should not be in the office today as he does not have any flights until Wednesday. Him appearing at this hour with the commander's weird command this must be Robert's doings. Feeling betrayed, Marco turns his sight back at the commander and begs him for one last time, hoping that it could change the commander's mind.

 

"There's nothing wrong with me, commander. Please let me fly. I'll do anything."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Finally got into this part of the story! I was supposed to write the footie spring fling thingy but hey, this is more interesting to me this moment so here's a new update here first! There's only 1 chapter left unwritten (or half, if I choose to combine). Next chapter just needs some tiny edits and it's good to go. It will be out by next week or so, just some time for me to write the footie spring fling fic, which I'm not confident at the moment XD. Wish me luck!


	12. Route Change

The wind runs through Marco's hair with the baby blue colour sky background as he watches the airplane flying over his head. He clenches his fist, still bitter by the incident that happened this morning. 

 

"It's all your fault! I should be up there!" Marco yells as he glares at Robert, pointing his finger to the air. He then grabs Robert's shirt and pins the latter to the wall. "What the hell are you trying to do?"

 

"Saving your ass? You shouldn't get on the plane, stupid." Robert replies with stern eyes.

 

"Huh. As if you know me better than myself." Marco sneers at his colleague.

 

"Maybe I don't but at least I have a clear head," Robert says. "You know where you should be? Your home. Your husband is worried sick of you."

 

"Shut up, you're so annoying," Marco says, releasing his hands from Robert and turns away.

 

"I'm just saying that you should start fixing your problems and not avoiding them. Not everyone is fortunate enough to be with the one they love." Robert raises his voice.

 

"Oh don't lecture me, Robert Lewandowski. You're not doing well in that either." Marco sneers.

 

Those words silenced Robert. The Polish guy is left with his mouth hanging wide without words coming out. The two of continue to give each other resentful eyes for some time before Marco breaks away from the staring match. As he walks away, he could feel that he is being followed. He turns back and notices Robert breaks his footsteps just a meter away from himself.

 

"Leave me alone!" Marco shouts. He turns away and continues to walk a few steps before stopping at the junction as he still feels like being followed. He turns back again and says, "Stop following me!"

 

"Go home, Marco," Robert says.

 

"Shut up! That's none of your business." Marco responds.

 

Marco turns away and starts sprinting towards the taxi stand with Robert following closely behind. Marco curses along the way, hoping that Robert will leave him alone as soon as possible. He stretches his hand to hail a cab and enters it. But he ends up leaving the cab before it takes off as he realises he has nowhere to go. Marco looks at his surroundings and realises that Robert is now nowhere to be seen. He exhales the breath that he has to hold on to, thinking that he is finally free.

 

Marco's mind starts to wander and he starts walking along the street without having thoughts of direction. The only thoughts he has are the harsh words that he and his husband exchanged. Every sentence cuts him to the core, even the ones that he spills out. His mind becomes lost and soon he is physically lost as well. Marco did not realises that he had lived in his own mind until the sound of a car horn brings him back to reality. He looks around and realises his wandering has brought him to an old church that he does not remember that it ever exists. Not even the shops at the surroundings bring any familiarity. Marco gazes at the church and his feet start to move closer to the church. He has never been a religious person but somehow he feels like it is time to get some help from somebody above.

 

He walks into the church, with his footsteps serving the only sounds in the building. The long benches at both sides are all vacant. There is only a brown hair lady standing before the big cross. Marco goes forward to the lady and asks, "Excuse me, is there a place I could tell god about my problems? Oh, I'm sorry, I don't mean to-"

 

The lady opens her eyes and drops her hands before turning to Marco. She answers with a nonchalant tone. "Follow me."

 

She guides him to a smaller hall with a little brown booth at the corner. She points to the booth, directing Marco to go in. Marco enters the little booth and sits on the little stool. He glances around and there is not much room to move around. He feels a little claustrophobic in it so he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before he starts to pour out his adultery sins. Tears start to shed from his eyes when he talks about things that he should not be done and how it affects his husband. After a long babbling, he patiently waits for a verdict. But unfortunately, there is no answer from the other side of the booth. Marco tries knocking on the wood and asks more questions, but the booth remains silent. He starts to wonder if there is even a person at the other side. Marco tries peeking through the holes but could not find anything. At last, he runs out of patience and pulls the veil. Marco is shocked to see an empty seat at the other side of the booth. Feeling disappointed and dejected, he leaves the church.

 

He continues to wander the streets, this time scanning through the surroundings. There are a bunch of youngsters laughing and poking at each other, children running around with a dog and couples smitten with their other half. Marco could not help feeling envy with those people. He could not help feeling bitter about his own relationship with Mario. Marco looks away and continues to walk until he reaches a café. He picks a table and sits on the chair, observing the people around him. The couple beside him are wearing matching clothes but both of them looks distant despite sitting together. There are no conversations between the two. A waiter smiles to Marco and takes his order but the smile quickly fades away as soon as the waiter turns away. There is a beggar walking around asking for money. His hands are shaking and his footsteps are wobbly. It makes Marco start questioning himself about the meaning of his life and the purpose of living. And suddenly, echoes of Robert's voice plays in his mind.

 

"You should start fixing your problems and not avoiding them."

 

"Go home, Marco."

 

Marco's eyes become wide as he hears those words. Maybe Robert is right. Maybe he should go home in the first place. Maybe he should make amends with Mario. Without further hesitation, Marco leaves the cafe. He hails a cab and goes home. Throughout the journey, the radio plays some depressing love songs, which Marco does not need at the moment. And all of a sudden, the song is interrupted by a breaking news. It is an update of a news about a flight that crashed into the Mediterranean sea. It is coincidently the flight that Marco is supposed to be on. Marco asks the cab driver to crank up the volume so he could hear the news more clearly. Mixed emotions get into his mind. Sorrow, because hundreds of people just lost their lives. Frustrated, to hear such a horrific news happened to his colleagues. Relief, because he is not on the plane. The news also makes him think of himself in the situation. How it would be like if he never has to chance to say goodbye to Mario. How he would feel if the last thing he did with Mario was throwing insults at each other. He realises how foolish his actions were the day before. He also realises he needs Mario now. He wants to throw his arms to Mario and squeeze his husband this minute. He wants to scream and shout, let Mario knows how much he loves him.

 

"Mario, I'm home."

 

Marco pushes the door but there is no answer from the house. He glances to the kitchen counter and Mario's keys are on the plate. Mario's shoes are placed firmly on the shoe rack. With these symptoms, Mario must be at home. Marco walks towards the living room and there is no one there. He then heads to the bedroom and cracks open the door.

 

"Mario?"

 

Marco's eyes turn wide as he stumbles. To his horror, he sees Mario lying on the bed with blood all over the place, flowing from the wrist. Pieces of glass are scattered on the floor. Mario's phone is lying beside him, with an unfinished message.

 

"No! No! Mario!" Marco shouts as he moves forward towards the bed. He starts to scream, "Mario, you can't leave me! We promised to travel the world together! You can't break that promise! Mario! Mario!"

 

"What happened?"

 

A voice came out from behind with footstep sounds towards the room. Marco turns to the back and sees Robert standing under the door frame with eyes wide open. Tears start to burst out from Marco's eyes. He tries to catch his breath and replies with an uneven tone, "Mario... Mario, he... cuts himself!"

 

"Shit! Marco, where do you keep your first aid kit?" Robert asks promptly.

 

"At the living room's right bottom shelf," Marco replies. He moves to the cupboard opens it to grab a small towel. He wraps the towel around Mario's hand and gives a little pressure to stop the bleeding while waiting for the first aid kit. When Robert rushes into the room with the first aid kit, he cracks open and scrambles through the box.

 

"Marco, here!" Robert says, handing the antibiotic cream to him. He then grabs Mario's hand and pours some clean water on in before dabbing it with a cloth. Marco is visibly shaking as he struggles to open the cap. Marco wants to heal his husband but he ends up sitting there like a statute. Tears start to flow again from the eyes. He wipes his tears away with his arm as he waits for Robert to nurse the wound.

 

"Give me the keys," Robert says.

 

"Huh?" Marco replies as he tries to comprehend Robert's words.

 

"Car keys. I'll drive him to the hospital." Robert says.

 

Marco nods and rushes to the counter for the keys. Robert picks Mario up and hustles to the car. After Mario is placed in the backseat, Marco rushes to the car himself.  He clutches to Mario's hand and keeps calling his husband's name. There is no response from Mario despite the shakings and shouting. The anxious level increases as the time go on. When they finally reach the hospital, Marco notices Mario's eyes blink as Mario is being wheeled towards the emergency room. Marco's mouth is left hanging. Hope starts to fill his heart and he continues to call Mario's name. But before he could get more response, he is stopped by the nurses.

 

"I'm sorry, Sir. You cannot go beyond this area." The nurse says.

 

"No, you don't understand! Mario needs me!" Mario says. Mario clenches the nurse's arm, begging the nurse but he is turned down by her.

 

"Calm down, Marco! He's in safe hands now!" Robert says, pulling his colleague away from the nurse. "He'll be fine. The doctors will save him."

 

"No! No!" Marco shakes his head and continues, "It's my fault! He didn't deserve this. I should be the one dying."

 

As Marco catches his breath, Robert pulls him closer to himself and gives him a pair of stern eyes, before saying, "Marco, listen! Don't say that! No one deserves to die, you hear me? Mario will be fine! Don't even think of dying! He needs you!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter seems a bit draggy :D but I hope that it is able to translate what I meant to say.


	13. Last Minute Booking

"Right. I'm going to fill the forms. Marco, do you need to call someone?" Robert asks.

 

Marco has his teary eyes fixed on Robert but he is speechless of his colleague's question. He is troubled to break the devastating news to Mario's or his own parents. Mario's dad will probably kill him if his father in law found out the reason Mario ends his own life. He doubts his own parents will be forgiving either. They love Mario as much as their own children. Marco lets out a sigh and fishes out his phone to scroll through the phonebook. After going through it several times, he taps on André's name, hoping to get a comforting voice. Marco patiently waits for his friend to pick up the other line but the grueling sounds of the phone make him anxious. He starts to wonder if anyone will ever pick up the phone.

 

"Hello, who's this?" A voice answers when the line is finally picked up.

 

"André..." Marco sprouts out his buddy's name as tears slipping out from the eyes.

 

"Marco? Is this Marco? Wait, you're alive? We thought you were dead in that plane crash!" André exclaims.

 

"No, I'm... I was not on that plane." Marco replies as he tries to hold back his tears.

 

"Okay. Great. Oh my god! We were so worried about you and Mario!" André says.

 

"But Mario..." Marco utters with a croaking voice, cutting off André's joy.

 

"Huh? Wait, what happened to Mario? He wasn't answering my calls today."

 

"He... he... cut himself." Marco utters with tiny hiccups refraining him to speak in a coherent sentence.

 

"Fuck. I was about to check on him, you know. Oh. My. God. Oh my god, I'm so sorry." André pauses for a second before continues, "I should have done it earlier."

 

"André, I'm so scared. What if he doesn't wake up?" Marco says as he starts to weep again.

 

"Don't worry, Marco. He will. He will. Where are you now?" André answers.

 

"In the hospital," Marco replies.

 

"I'm coming there, alright? Don't move a muscle." André says before ending the call.

 

Having the conversation with André gives Marco the courage to call his family. There are different responses from each of them. His parents are delighted that their son is actually alive, despite sadden with the news of Mario. And as expected, Mario's parents are not taking it well, with Mario's mom wailing in the background when Marco speaks with his father in law. Marco prays to all the gods he has known for Mario to survive but there are no signs from the doctor until now. He could hear Robert's voice beside him, but could not register a word from his colleague. Robert seems to left the scene after André and Mario's brothers arrive the hospital. Mario's brothers ask tons of questions but Marco could not able to answer a single one, only manages to shake his head for a few times. After tending to their inquiries, Marco hits to the coffee machine for a recharge. He sinks into a corner to have some peace, but the wailing sound from Mario's mom then covers the scene, distracting Marco from having a clear mind. After what it seems like hours has gone, the light of the emergency room finally goes out. Marco's eyes turn wide when the doctor comes out from the room with a nonchalant face. He rushes to the woman in the white suit to get some answers.

 

"May I know who is Mr. Götze's family?" The doctor asks.

 

"Me! I'm his husband!" Marco exclaims. He grabs the doctor's arm and continues, "How is he? How is Mario?"

 

"He's now in a stable condition. Luckily you guys check on him early. I wouldn't say the same if you were 5 minutes late." The doctor replies with a smile. She continues, "You may visit him now, but keep it to the minimum as he still needs to rest."

 

Marco dashes into the room after thanking the doctor. His husband is lying on a bed with four white walls surrounding it. Although the doctor has declared that Mario is in the safe zone, Marco is still paranoid by the fact that his husband might die anytime. He starts shaking Mario's arms but there is no response from his husband.

 

"Mario! Mario!"

 

"Marco, calm down! The doctor says he needs to rest!" André says, pulling Marco away from Mario. Tears start to stream down Marco's face as he looks at his unconscious husband. He could feel André's arms wrap around him, chin resting on his shoulder and some mumblings. The rest of the family is somewhat quiet, even Mario's mom has calmed down. Soon, people gradually leaves the room after learning that Mario will recover. They leave kisses to Mario's hand and say their goodbyes. André offers to give a lift to Marco but he refuses. Marco insists on staying beside Mario until Mario wakes up. He picks up Mario's chilly hand and gives the bandaged wound a kiss, before placing it beside his cheek. His sight turns to Mario's face, where he starts to weep. It pierces his heart to see a face pale in colour, lips chapped and cheeks concaved. This is not the Mario that he wanted to see. His Mario was a vibrant and gleeful man. He wants that Mario back. Marco places his other hand on Mario's face and caresses it, telling his husband that he is sorry and vows not to repeat the same mistake again. But other than the gentle breathings, there is no response from Mario. Marco repeats the words again and again until his eyes become heavy. Before he realises, his head drops on the bed as his mind falls into a deep sleep.

 

The next thing Marco could feel something stroking his hair. The touches are so delicate that it feels like a lioness licking her cub. Marco cracks open his eyes and he could vaguely see Mario runs the hand through his hair. His eyes turn wide when he realises it is not a dream, but it really is Mario stroking him. Marco pushes himself up and flashes a bright smile saying, "Mario, you're awake!"

 

The hand is promptly removed from Marco's hair, shying away from Marco. Silence creeps into the room with Mario facing away, body curling into a ball. Marco shifts forward for a cuddle. But as soon as he makes body contact with Mario, he could hear some harsh words.

 

"Don't touch me."

 

Marco's heart drops listening to those words. He grabs the bedsheet and says, "Mario, I'm sorry. I really am."

 

But there is no response from Mario. No hurtful words, no signs of forgiveness, nothing. Just silence from the other party as Marco stares at his husband. As he sits by the wings, his stomach starts to growl. Marco takes a deep breath and tries to changes the topic, "Are you hungry, Mario? I'll get something for you."

 

There is no response from Mario but he goes ahead to buy the breakfast anyway. There are only a café and a convenience store within the walking distance. The café is not opened until 6 am so he hits to the convenience store for some sandwiches. They are not many to choose from but right now the main thing is to get Mario to eat some proper food. Marco grabs a couple of egg and ham sandwiches heads back to the room. When he cracks open the door, he could see Mario's eyes are fixed on the window still. He puts up a smile and tries calling Mario to have breakfast but he is acknowledged with a snub. Marco shuts his eyes for a moment and lets out a sigh. He grabs himself a chair to accompany Mario and gazes his husband, he waits for an opportunity to communicate again. Every minute passes by is like a knife scratches on his skin. It pains him to the core but he could not give up on Mario. Not when his husband has given up on himself. Not when his husband needs him the most.

 

"I hate this..." Mario blurts out. The is a long pause in the room after the statement, with Marco staring at him and waits for the next sentence.

 

"I hate everything. I hate myself. I hate that I'm so short. I hate that I'm fat. I hate that I'm fucking useless."

 

"No, Mario, you're not useless," Marco responds to him.

 

Mario turns to Marco and continues, "I am. If I'm not, you wouldn't find another man. Face it. I'm not good enough for you, that's why you had to find another man to make you happy."

 

Marco grabs Mario's hand and replies, with teary eyes. "No, Mario. It's my fault. I should not have taken you for granted. I should have worked in our relationship."

 

Mario gazes at him with tired eyes and a frown for some time before he utters, "You should've let me die."

 

"No! Mario, no! I love you! I can't live without you! Please don't leave me, Mario. I need you." Marco promptly replies. He closes his eyes and cries, "I'm sorry, Mario. I'm sorry. Please give me a second chance. Please give us a second chance."

 

When Marco reopen his eyes, there seems to be a tad fire, a little hope in Mario's eyes, but it is quickly fade away. Mario looks away and murmurs, "Marco, I can't do it."

 

"Yes, we can! We will get through this, I promise. We will do this together!" Marco responds. He plants a kiss to Mario's hand and then places it beside his cheek. They spend half an hour in silence before Marco continues the day retelling the good times they had in the past. He tells a lot of stories, especially the teenage years where they had a few mischievous acts that they made and kept among themselves. He got a few laughs from Mario, which is a good sign. Mario seems to be more comfortable for touches as the time goes by, there is no sign of refusal but more positive signs as a response. Marco continues to talk about the past and when it drifts to their dreams of traveling, he pauses.

 

"I wish we could go there." Mario murmurs with a pair of soft eyes to Marco. It is the first sentence he says since Marco comes back with breakfast.

 

Marco's eyes turn wide at Mario's statement. His mind clicks. He fixes his eyes at Mario and says, "Mario, you know what? Let's go there."

 

"What?" Mario says. His forehead creases as he hears Marco's words.

 

"Brazil. Isn't that one of the places that you are dreaming of? Remember you told me about the beach in Baia do Sancho? Let's go there." Marco replies.

 

"Marco, but-" Mario utters.

 

"Mario, we won't know how long we will live in this world. One of us might not be here tomorrow. In fact, we both nearly ended our lives just days ago. I don't wanna live my life with regrets." Marco says. He grabs his husband's hand and lifts it up before continuing. "Mario, this is a wake-up call."

 

Mario gazes at him without uttering a word. It takes him a while but he nods in the end. Marco wastes no time to book the flight, applies for a long leave, make hotel reservations and pack the bags. Mario is silent throughout the process, but there is no opposition from him as well. He is rather content about everything, but Marco is ready to change everything. 

 

Baia do Sancho is exactly like what everyone has raved about. Every angle of the beach is postcard worthy. The sea is jewel blue and the sand is white and soft. The air is fresh and the sounds of the gushing waves crashing to the rocks are comforting. Marco finds himself tangling with Mario together while listening to the sounds of the bashing ocean. The wind is messing his hair, but he could not care less. The blazing sun is shining brightly from above but nothing in this world is shining brighter than the Sunny beside him. His husband is basically beaming under the sun, overshadowing the sparkling sand and ocean.

 

"I missed your smile," Marco says. He leans forward for a kiss before continues, "I missed you."

 

"Me too," Mario replies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of feel impatient when I'm writing this :D most probably because it is the last chapter that I wrote for this story (last 3 was written previously). Hopefully, it still looks okay.


	14. Flight Hazzard

Marco grips Mario's left hand in a spooning posture in bed, thanking all his lucky stars that Mario is still by his side. He is thankful that Mario still gives him a chance to amend their relationship after all the terrible things he did in the past. He caresses the pale hand and notices the scar on Mario's wrist which is still very visible. Every time he sees the scar it reminds him of how he hurt his husband and it feels acidic. It has been a while since the two have a peaceful night together with Mario sleeping softly off guard. Although Mario has shown positive signs lately but Marco knows the bad memories will come back to haunt them anytime. With the medical advancement these days, physical scars can fade away easily but mental scars are a different story. The scar that he carved deeply to Mario's heart probably would not fade away no matter how hard he tries to heal it. But no matter what it takes, he will try his best to conceal that scar. Marco also knows he could not heal Mario alone and he knows his husband needs professional help. It also needs to start it as soon as possible as after this honeymoon month, Marco has to head back to work and things will be more difficult.

 

He sits down with Mario and both of them have a long serious conversation of visiting a psychologist. Marco lays out the problems they have and concludes that Mario needs professional help. He sugar coat it with the benefits of what a psychologisy could bring. There are not many words coming out from Mario's mouth but Marco could sense the resentment from his husband's eyes. But in the end, Mario nods as an agreement after Marco promises to accompany on the first session. With Mario's consent, Marco schedules two dates with the psychologist. He prays that with the help of a professional, Mario could get back into the cheerful guy that he once knew. Marco spends the rest of the day studying every move that his husband makes. He could feel the tension in Mario, as his husband grips the cup a little tense than usual and his smile has fade away since the talk.

 

Mario is also quiet during the morning of the appointment day and during the journey to the psychologist's office. Marco's brows are furrowed throughout the journey. He tries to change the mood with some lame jokes but they do not work this time.

 

When the couple reaches the psychologist's office, Marco feels a little chilly. He wonders it is the air conditioner or the cold and quiet office environment. Whatever it is, it does not give him a good vibe. A half bald middle aged man with thick eyebrows, wearing a suit and tie greets them and introduces himself as the psychologist. There is something about this guy is intimidating. Marco glances to Mario and wonders if his husband feels the same. He grabs Mario's hand and realises the hand is sticky and shaky. He grips the hand a little tighter to calm Mario down. The psychologist gives a side eye to Marco, probably not pleased to see him tagging along but Marco insists on staying. He knows his husband would not do this session without his presence. He pleas to the psychologist and eventually the psychologist let it slide for now. The psychologist then starts the session by asking cliche questions. 

 

"So what brings you here?"

 

Mario gulps and then utters. "I... I think I need help." 

 

The psychologist continues to ask a few provoking questions. He asks about the problems and how Mario feels. Every time a question comes up, there is a long silence from Mario before he answers. Whenever Mario glances to Marco, the psychologist snaps him out and even forbid them to have any eye contact while answering the questions. Mario ends up answering all the psychologist's questions in short monotone sentences, eyes looking down to the shoes. Marco could see tears start to well up Mario's eyes, those tears probably going to burst out anytime soon. At one point, Marco decides to end the session early with a lame "family emergency" excuse. As the couple walks through the corridor, Mario tugs his shirt and asks,

 

"Marco, what emergency it is?"

 

"There's none. I just want to end the session early. It's a bit long for a first session, right?" Marco replies with a smile. He grips Mario's hand and starts to walk. Marco could feel a force holding him back when he makes the first step. He turns around and Mario just stays there like a rock.

 

"Marco, I don't think I can do this," He says.

 

"Yes, you can! Look! You've done very well today." Marco replies with a smile still on his face. He knows that is the exact opposite of what happened in the room but he has to encourage his husband for future sessions.

 

"No, I didn't," Mario says, turning his head down.

 

"Well, I'm sure you'll do better next time Liebling," Marco replies. He gives a peck to Mario and holds his husband's hand firmly. "Now let's grab some ice cream, okay?"

 

Mario remains quiet in the ice cream parlor, head stoops down while fiddling with his fingers. Even ice cream does not seem to lift his mood. It normally does for the young man but not today. Marco is worried for his husband. He tries to convince himself that the anxiousness is due to Mario not getting used to psychology because who does anyway? He wraps his husband in his arms, hoping that things will become better in the second session. Marco continues to observe Mario's behaviour on a daily basis, taking notes of any unusual signs. Mario looks content in those days, manage to do his daily routine without throwing tantrum. But in the back of Marco's mind, he has a bad feeling that something bad could happen anything soon. He is right about it as when the next appointment arrives, Mario's mood swings.

 

"Morgen sleepyhead. Remember our pretzel date today?" Marco nudges his husband. He could see Mario curls himself into a ball and shoves the blanket over the head. Marco shifts closer to his husband and whispers, "Don't you wanna eat pretzels?"

 

"No." Mario mumbles.

 

"Come on, Mario. It's pretzels. Your favourite." Marco says, nudging his husband again.

 

"I don't wanna go to the psychologist," Mario replies.

 

Marco peels off the blanket and leans his head on Mario as he whispers, "Mario, didn't you promise me the other day? You said you will go there to heal yourself."

 

"I'm not going. You said I will feel better but I didn't." Mario replies and shifts himself away from Marco.

 

"You will, Liebling, you will. It takes some time." Marco replies as he runs his hand through Mario's hair. "I'll give you a special treat, okay?"

 

Marco tugs Mario's collar, gives his best to bribe Mario with love bites and dirty languages. Mario eventually gives in but they ended up late to the psychologist. The psychologist is not impressed with the two, he evem ask Marco to pay extra for the wasted time. Marco could feel Mario gripping his arm a little tighter than usual as they walk through the corridor. As they reach the psychologist's office, Marco stops and turns to Mario.

 

"I'll pick you up after an hour, okay? We'll go to the pretzel stall after this."

 

"No, wait! Marco, you're not coming in?" Mario frantically grabs Marco's arm with teary doe eyes.

 

"It's just an hour. I'll come back. You can do this, Liebling." Marco gives a nudge to his husband's hand before pushing it away from his arm. Mario's frown is still visible despite all the sweet words Marco say to him. When the door opens, Marco gives a slight push to Mario, making sure his husband is in the room before he leaves. After the door closes, he heads to the Starbucks nearby to spend the extra hour. As he is deciding his drink at the counter, his phone rings. He checks his phone and it is the psychologist. 

 

"Hello?"

 

"Mr. Reus, I'm calling from the psychologist office. Sorry to bother you but this is an emergency." The person on the other line replies.

 

Marco raises his eyebrows and asks, "What is it?"

 

"I'm sorry to tell you that your husband has run away from our office." The person answers.

 

"What??!! What do you mean he ran away??!!" Marco starts to lose his mind when the staff tells him the news, swearing at the woman even though she apologizes. Apologies does not do anything good for Marco. Apologizes could not compensate for his lost. In fact, it frustrates him even more. He spends the next 10 minutes lecturing the staff for not taking care of his husband. Marco could not bear to lose his husband again. Not now. Not ever. His heart could not take it again. Mario is still in an unstable condition now and Marco has a feeling that his husband might do something stupid.

 

After the long lecture, Marco ends the call abruptly and immediately dials Mario's phone but nobody picks up on the other end. He continues to dial as he searches the nearby areas but Mario is nowhere to be found. His heartbeat rises when he glances the time. It is already 2 hours in the search but there are still no traces of his husband. As he is about to start the car engine, the phone rings. Marco frantically reaches for his phone and his heart drops when he sees André's name on it instead of Mario's.

 

"Hey bro, wanna go-" André says on the other line.

 

"Schü, Mario is missing! He's missing!" Marco cuts him off.

 

"What?!" André responds.

 

"I dropped him at the psychologist and he went missing!" Marco exclaims.

 

"Alright, calm down bro. Have you find his favourite places?" André asks.

 

"I searched the ice cream, pretzel place and the malls that we often went but he wasn't there," Marco replies.

 

"Did you checked the park? Or your home? He might have gone home. Do you need my help? I'm actually nearby your house." André continues.

 

"Thanks, bro. Can you check the house? I'll look for him at the park." Marco says. He continues to text Mario after hanging up the phone while searching the park and at last Mario's name appears on his phone. 

 

"Mario, where are you?" Marco respond to the call.

 

"Marco... I'm... sorry." A croaking voice replies on the other line. 

 

"Stay where you are. I'm coming to you, okay?" Marco continues.

 

Marco continues to walk and scan through the playground. He notices a guy with a dark blue shirt and jeans curling into a ball at the corner of the bench. Marco remembers Mario is wearing dark blue shirt and jeans today. He sprints towards the guy and says, "Mario?"

 

The guy lifts his head up with red teary eyes. It is indeed Mario. When he sees Marco in the eye, tears start to burst as he utters, "Marco... I'm sorry."

 

Marco immediately wraps his husband and whispers to his husband's ear, "It's okay, Liebling. We're going home. We're going home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support. I'm posting this a bit early for this week because it is done and good to go. Hopefully everyone enjoys it. And oh, happy Good Friday!


	15. Customer Care

"Who is it?" Mario says, giving a suspicious stare to Marco.

 

Marco heart's drops when he hears those words from Mario. But he could not blame Mario's suspect behaviour towards him. He does have a bad reputation, to begin with. And anyone would have done the same as his phone has indeed buzzing the whole night. It is already past midnight and any sane acquaintance, friend or even family would not text anyone at this hour in normal circumstances. But this is no ordinary friend. The person that has been texting him is actually Robert. The Robert that he had been fooling around with in the past. Marco contemplates. He wonders if he should tell Mario the truth as the truth could really hurt their relationship, especially they just got reconcile. But then lying and denying got him into bigger trouble last time so this time he decides to go for the truth.

 

"It's Lewy." he replies.

 

"What?! You still talk to him? Didn't you say you ended the relationship? You said you love me!"

 

As expected Mario does not take it well. Tears start pouring down his cheeks and his breaths become uneven. He starts to throw random stuff at Marco, yells unpleasant words but Marco sucks them all like a sponge. The words make his heart bleed but it is nothing compared to what he did in the past. He knows he deserves all the scolding and punching from his husband but he is making amends for it. Marco held on to the struggling Mario hands, trying his best to calm his lover down. After a long struggle, Mario bends down and burst into tears.  

 

"Mario, please listen to me. It's not what you think it is. I've changed. I'm not fooling around with Lewy anymore. The only one I love is you and nobody else." Marco says. Mario does not answer him, nor make any resistance either. Marco let go his husband's hand and proceeds to lift his husband's head, positions it to his eye level. Mario's red swollen eyes crush him. It saddens him to see those sad eyes again. He wipes the tear in Mario's eye and continues, "I can't avoid him forever, Mario. He's my colleague. But I can assure you that there is nothing in between us other than work and friendship." 

 

Marco grabs his phone and hands it to Mario. Mario looks at him with a perplexed face, but he takes the phone nonetheless. He scrolls through the group chat and other personal messages, then scrambling through the photo gallery and videos. All the photos there are either selfies, sceneries, or decent photos with Mario himself or group photos with other people. There is no hanky panky in it.  All those erotic stuff were deleted since the affair is exposed. Mario takes another round to check the videos and there are no traces of naughty stuff. He places the phone down and winces. Tears start to stream down from his eyes again. He does not respond to Marco but Marco could understand it. Marco knows it takes time for his husband to fully trust him again. He closes his eyes, moves forward and leans his head to Mario. He whispers,

 

"I love you, Mario."

 

Marco decides to walk the talk to gain his husband's trust again. There is no better way than to bring him to meet up with his ex-mister, Robert. He also feels the need to thank his lifesaver in person. If Robert did not stop him from boarding the plane that day, he would probably not be here right now. Robert was also the one that took Mario to the hospital when all he did was sobbing. Mario was not keen on the idea at first, begging him not meet up with Robert. But Marco persuades him to go as a couple, assuring him that everything will be alright. Mario spends the half hour fixing his hair and changing his clothes, probably too insecure with himself. Marco could not help to choose a shirt for him and as he buttons the shirt for Mario, he flashes a smile and says, "Don't worry Liebling. You look handsome."

 

Marco notices hid husband shifts his head back and forth as soon as they reach the buffet restaurant. He places his hand on Mario's thigh, hoping that could calm his husband down. When Robert shows up, he could sense that Mario's grip on his hand becomes tense. He takes his other hand and gently grips on Mario's hand before he gets up to greet Robert. They give each other polite greeting and settle down at the table. There is a long silence and asymmetrical smiles on the table before Robert breaks the silence. "Well, I'm hungry. Do you guys need anything?"

 

"It's okay. We'll help ourselves." Marco replies with a smile then shift his sight to Mario and continue, "Mario, do you need anything?" 

 

"No. I'm fine," Mario responds.

 

"Do you want some pretzels? I heard they have really nice ones." Marco asks.

 

"Uhm, okay," Mario replies. He hits the dessert section to grab a couple of pretzels and cupcakes. As he scans through the buffet table for some cakes, there is a business card appear out of the blue. Marco turns his head up and he could see Robert standing in front of him.

 

"Marco, I think you need this." He says.

 

Robert nudges Marco to accept the business card from him. Marco takes another look at the card before picking it up and reads the wordings. It is a business card of a psychologist named Dr. Jürgen Klopp. He raises his eyebrows and looks back to Robert. Robert flashes a smile at him and continues, "I've been seeing him for the past few months and he is like no other. Have a try. Maybe he could help you guys."

 

Marco could probably never figure out why Robert knows he needed a psychologist, but he is thankful nonetheless. He is indeed in the midst of finding a new psychologist after the failed attempt on the first one. He googles Dr. Jürgen Klopp that evening and numerous articles come out with the man changing plenty lives of people with mental disorder. Many people had commented in forums, praising his tactics are unusually effective. There are cases that are more serious than Mario's and deemed to be doomed but this man has somehow magically turned their lives around. Looking at the articles, maybe there is still hope for Mario after all. Marco swiftly picks up the phone and dials the number from the business card. A man who refers himself as Dr. Klopp answers the phone. His voice sounds like a drunken man in a thick German accent. It gives a negative first impression to Marco but as the conversation goes on, everything Dr. Klopp says seems to make sense.

 

He pours out his situation with Mario to Dr. Klopp and weaves out every detail of his concerns including Mario's unwillingness to see a psychologist. After a long heartfelt conversation, Dr. Klopp comes up with a plan, which he specifically tells Marco not to reveal his true identity to Mario. Marco agrees to the plan without hesitation. 

 

The first meeting is at a lakeside in a rural area, which seems like a good environment to start off the session. But what Marco could not understand is why of all the activities in the world Dr. Klopp chooses to go for a fishing trip. But he has to put some faith into Dr. Klopp since he is the professional. When Dr. Klopp shows up at the lakeside, Marco is bewildered to see the psychologist in a big red coat. And with the tall and chubby figure, he certainly looks more like a Santa Claus than a psychologist.

 

"Morgen, Mr. Klopp!" Marco greets him.

 

"Ah, just call me Jürgen. We're friends. There's no need to be so formal." he replies with a smile. He glances to Mario and continues, "This must be your partner Mario, right?"

 

"Yes. Mario, meet Jürgen. He's a friend of my friend." Marco says. Both Mario and Jürgen exchange smiles and shake hands before starting a few common and cliché topics. Jürgen seems to be a funny guy. He is pretty animated when he talks, giving Mario and Marco a few good laughs. Things go out well until Jürgen pops out a question.

 

"So Mario, what do you do for a living?"

 

The surroundings become quiet with only the sounds of mallards quacking as Jürgen patiently waits for an answer from Mario. Mario gulps and starts to look elsewhere. Marco's heartbeat rises, as he is worried about his husband. He turns to Jürgen and utters, "Photographer. Mario is a freelance photographer."

 

Marco could see Jürgen chafes at him, probably displeased with him answering for Mario. Marco knows that he should not answer it but he feels that he had to. He is worried that Mario will become too anxious and run away like the last time. Marco could not risk that again. But maybe Jürgen knows what he is doing. He is the professional after all. Marco continues to observe the situation. In the next hour, Jürgen does not ask questions like the previous psychotherapist. In fact, all he talks about is football after finding out that Marco and Mario are Borussia Dortmund fans. And then he goes on to ramble about his grandmother stories and his dog Emma. Marco starts to question Jürgen's ability as a psychologist. He wonders if he should continue to use Jürgen's service after this or if he should get refunds for the lack of service. With all the gibberish talk, Marco has started to feel a little thirsty. He reaches his bag for a water bottle and notices his water bottle is empty. He then remembered that he did not refill the bottle before going out.

 

"Dammit! We're out of water," he mutters.

 

"You can drink mine if you don't mind," Jürgen says.

 

"It's okay. I'll get some myself. It's not enough for three people anyway." Marco replies politely. He turns to Mario and continues, "Mario, do you need anything?"

 

"Any drink will do. And oh, get me some Milka if you can." Mario replies.

 

"There is a convenience stall 3km away," Jürgen adds on. Marco nods to him and walks away. He finds a nearby bush and curls behind it, peeking through the bushes to see Mario and Jürgen's reaction without him. Marco is still haunted by the last psychotherapy session Mario had last week. He is worried that Mario will freak out without him by his side. But Marco has no choice. He has to let Mario independent as soon as possible as Mario has to attend the future psychotherapy sessions alone. He has nothing but to trust Jürgen's ability for now. Marco stays there for a good 15 minutes, watching the two like a hawk. Jürgen is still talking animatedly and Mario is not showing any signs of anxiousness. In fact, Mario has his eyes fixed on the middle age man, he seems to have more interest in Jürgen's story than anything else. It seems like Jürgen manages to make Mario feel comfortable. And that is what matters the most.

 

Marco lets out a huge breath and proceeds to the convenience stall. When he gets back to the lakeside, he notices Mario is taking pictures of Jürgen. The awkward way Jürgen poses cracks Mario up, making the little guy rolling on the ground. Marco finally manages to flash a genuine smile. He feels secure for the first time since the big fallout. He knows that Mario will be in good hands. Maybe Jürgen does know what he is doing. Maybe Jürgen is their savior after all. Maybe this is the unusual way of Jürgen treating his patients. Marco moves forward and joins them for some photo session and some long winded conversations. They end the day with a dinner at the nearby seafood restaurant. Nobody managed to fish a single fish that day but everyone still has smiles plaster on their faces. Maybe because they all have received a bigger reward today.  Marco is delighted to see a sunshine bursting out of Mario. He is all smiles throughout the day, as it is something that does not happen frequently in the recent days. He even claims that his jaws are numb from all the laughing.

 

The same night, Marco receives a text from Jürgen for the next meeting with a list of areas that they need to work on Mario and himself. He glances to Mario and smiles before shutting the bedroom lights off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm supposed to post this on Friday but I probably won't have time for the next few days so why not posting it now? :)


	16. Next Destination

Marco opens his eyes with a heavy feeling. It is not a physical fatigue even though the sexual activity he had the night before is pretty wild. It is a mental fatigue that is lingering in his mind. He could not figure out why at first, he then remembers that today is the day he needs to report for work. It seems like honeymoon days have come to an end and now he has to face reality. He knows he will do fine but he could not say the same for Mario. He turns to the other side and gazes at the other figure sleeping peacefully beside him. He prays that Mario would stay strong without his presence. He shifts closer to his husband and wraps around him, gently snuggles his husband as he buries his head into the shoulder. He could feel some gentle movements on the bed.

 

"What's wrong, Marco?" Mario murmurs to him with half opened eyes.

 

Marco's eyes set at Mario, he shakes his head and smiles. He dugs his head into Mario's shoulder and replies,

 

"I love you."

 

It is just three simple words but yet it is so powerful. Marco never realises the importance of these words until the day he nearly lost his husband. These words remind him the significant role Mario has on his life. It reminds him of why he and Mario are a couple. Marco has been saying these words every single day to Mario since that incident and he is intended to continue it until the day he dies. Even when he is not around, he makes sure he will call Mario just to say these word.

 

"I know," Mario replies and shifts back to his original position.

 

Marco flashes a grin and then plants a few wet kisses to Mario's neck. He could see Mario curls himself into a ball, preventing Marco to give ticklish love signs. Marco continues to find new areas to attack but his activity has to cut short when he hears his phone alarm rings. He glances at the alarm clock and sighs. He wonders, why good things do not last? As Marco gets off the bed to grab his towel, he hears Mario murmurs,

 

"Don't leave me."

 

Mario does it again. These words have become Mario's favourite whenever Marco is the first to leave the bed. Normally Marco would slump back to the bed with no questions ask but not today. Today he has to report to his captain at 10 am sharp and it is already 8 am. A slump back to the bed means another hour of naughty business but he does not have that much time to spare. Marco gives a peck to his husband and whispers, "I'm sorry, Liebling. Gotta head back to work today. I'll make up for it when I come back okay?" 

 

Mario swiftly gets up with eyes wide open, he says, "What? Already? Well, can you get extensions?"

 

"I wish. I really wish so but I've extended five days, remember? If I don't go to work today, I'll get fired and then the both of us will die of hunger." Marco answers.

 

"At least we get to die together," Mario replies with a grin. Marco grabs a pillow and throws it to his husband's direction but it does not stop Mario from giggling.

 

The feeling of reluctant lingers throughout Marco's whole morning routine. He tries to smile to Mario but it feels forced and awkward. Mario probably notices it too. Marco leans his head on Mario's shoulder, clinging on to his lover's hand throughout the journey to the airport. He gives a peek to Mario and notices his husband is surprisingly content. Mario spends his time gazing at the window, looking like he is just going to a trip like any other day. Marco thought he was the stronger one between the two but maybe that is not the case. He realises that he is actually the clingy one. The reluctant feeling he has inside grown stronger as the journey to the airport comes to an end. At one point he just wishes to jump out of the car with Mario like what people did in movies. But he chickened out and opt for facing the reality.

 

Marco holds Mario's hand and together they walk on the airport grounds with the slowest pace as he could. But despite the speed, the road seems to be awfully short today. They reach the office within 15 minutes and Marco swore some days it took longer than today. Marco turns his sight to Mario and when their eyes meet Marco's heart twitches. If he could wish anything in the world, he wishes that this moment could last forever.

 

"I wish you won't leave," Mario says.

 

Marco leans his forehead to Mario's, with noses caressing each other and replies, "Me too. Me too."

 

Marco pulls himself away from his husband and turns his head to the side where his friends and families are standing to bid his farewell. He steps forward to his family and gives them hugs and kisses. When he reaches Ann-Kathrin for a hug, he whispers, "Ann, please look after him while I'm gone. Okay?"

 

"Will do," she replies. "And oh, don't forget my Louis Vuitton bag." 

 

Marco pulls himself away from Ann and shifts his sight to André. He flashes a little smile as his friend comes forward to him for a hug. He whispers, "Don't worry, bro. I'll check on him from time to time."

 

He then looks at Jürgen, which gives him a warm smile in response. Jürgen approaches him and gives him the biggest man hug he ever had. He could hear another comforting word. "He's in good hands. He'll be fine." 

 

After getting good wishes from the friends and family, Marco walks back to Mario and grabs the locket hanging on his husband's neck. Mario looks at him with a perplexed face. Marco flashes a smile as a response. He cracks it open and slips a tiny photo of himself in it, then closes it and slides it into Mario's T-shirt. Marco gently presses Mario's chest and says, "Mario, promise me to keep it deep in your heart. If you ever feel lonely, just hold on to it because we are going through it together. Remember that I'll always be with you. I'll be back very soon. I promise."

 

Marco could see tears welling up Mario's eyes, but his husband still nods nonetheless. He does not know what will happen in the future and deep down inside he is not confident at all. But he has to have faith that everything is going to be alright. He has to have faith in Jürgen, his friends and family and most importantly have faith in Mario.

 

He tilts his head and starts to reach for Mario's lips, brushes it lightly and starts swirls his tongue deep into Mario. He then sucks Mario's warmth, tastes every bit of the saliva, treating like it is the last kiss that he will ever have. He hopes Mario's scent will last on him a little bit longer with the kiss. As he finally breaks the kiss, he gazes to Mario and whispers,

 

"Wait for me to come home" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the final chapter! Thank you so much for sticking around until the end even though I'm really bad at updating *hides* Thank you for all the comments and kudos. Especially those who commented! I love you all so much! I'm not sure if I would make an epilogue or not (mostly no) But if there's none then this is the end!
> 
> There's also some thoughts of making a Lewreus version of this story. (His POV and a different twist to the story). But this is not confirmed. It will depend whether there is a demand and/or if I think the story is good enough to put out there. We'll see.
> 
> There are also a couple of people that I would like to thank personally. Dimou, one of the best people I've known through the internet and whom I 1st pitch this story to. Thank you for your encouragement of this story and listen to my constant whining/complains about things in general. Thank you for answering all the weird questions that might not seem to make sense at that time :P
> 
> Also to footballerindreams/BürkiTheBae! I don't know what I did to get your constant support. You're amazing and I wish I could do half of what you did for me. <3
> 
> I've already have plans for another multi chapter fic, most likely the Götzeus one will come out first :D so if you're interested, keep an eye on my AO3 :)

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the new Götzeus fic that I've been talking about. Hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Playlist:  
> Crazy In Love - Beyonce (50 Shades of Grey version. Sofia Karlberg's version is amazing as well)  
> Give You What You Like - Avril Lavigne  
> Photograph - Ed Sheeran  
> Love Me Like You Do - Ellie Goulding  
> Gorilla - Bruno Mars  
> Never Alone - Lady Antebellum  
> What Hurts The Most - Rascal Flatts  
> Dangerous Woman - Ariana Grande  
> I Will Be - Leona Lewis / Avril Lavigne  
> 存在 - 汪峰  
> Come Clean - Hilary Duff  
> Take Flight - Lindsey Stirling  
> Breathe On Me - Britney Spears  
> Every Time You Go - Ellie Goulding  
> I`ll Hold My Breath - Ellie Goulding  
> Into You - Ariana Grande  
> Under The Sheets - Ellie Goulding  
> Forever Love - 王力宏  
> Numb - Linkin Park
> 
> Thank you very much for reading this story. If you like it please give me a kudos. Please tell me anything in the comments and I will try my very best to improve. :) every kudos, comment, subscription and bookmark means the world to me. Thank you. :D
> 
> Yeah, you can follow me on [Tumblr](http://fearlesskiki.tumblr.com/)


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